INTERNET ASSASSIN

Nicely Ab-ed (6) :

2009-10-30T12:37:00.001-07:00

Eye Candy (Series 6)

2009-10-06T00:29:00.000-07:00

Cover up da booty! (part 11)........

2009-10-01T17:41:00.000-07:00

Agent Tango: So ummm.... Does he skateboard naked?? Hmmm...and then there's the backpack. Studying naked I can understand.... but doing a Nollie in the buff? C'mon now! Cover up that booty! See him at Tetu.com

Agent Tango: Nice top but the nails might be a bit much. Hey! Where are your undies?? Just say "no" to commando! Cover up those cheeks!

Agent Tango: OK. If you're in the shower then it's ok for your booty to be uncovered. However, if the person next to you is a "grabber" then u have no choice : Cover up tha' booty!!

Agent Tango: I've heard of a "beast of the field"..... but a "booty of the field??" What's going on here cowpoke? All of that hay is gonna tickle your tush! Pardner, ya best cover up that booty!

Agent Tango: A hairless hunk. Sleeping on the couch....with his ass all out. Guests might be coming over. Someone needs to wake his ass up and tell him to cover up tha' booty!!

The Battle of the Bulge! (Act 13)

2009-09-28T12:39:00.000-07:00

Agent Tango: Hmmm....Stretching in a thong. A small one at that! I wonder where that forked vein is coming from (or going)? The battle in this scene appears to going straight down but the lack of pouch material and the fact that his arms are up leads me to believe he is about to surrender.

Agent Tango: What a fashionisto. His netting matches his trunks. Great color co-ordination but guess what? You didn't catch anything!...or maybe he did. Is that a trout I see? His battle appears to be up and to the left.

Agent Tango: His battle appears to be up and to the right....I hope he has a Viagra pill in that drink....actually I hope he has 2 pills.....Stay thirsty my friend!

Agent Tango: He is ready for battle.....a small battle.....straight down. Not that I need it >>cough!<< >>cough!<<> but you would think you'd want to wear a large cup to intimidate your opponent....not make him laugh.

Nicely Ab-ed (5) :

2009-09-28T12:35:00.001-07:00

Nicely Ab-ed (4) :

2009-02-17T20:15:00.000-08:00

See more here.

See more here.

See more here.

New Agents Wanted.....

2009-02-17T20:11:00.000-08:00

Some Agents have gone AWOL, disappeared, or fallen into the lameness pit. Shoot me an IM if you'd like to be considered!

AgentTango69@aim.com

Stuff in the crosshairs.....

2009-02-17T18:20:00.000-08:00

!! Cougar alert!!
Agent Tango: It looks like Madonna is up to her old tricks. Tsk...tsk....She is literally old enough to be his grandmother. What will her kids think...lol... Who are we kidding, he'll be history in 30 days! The two can be seen in "W" magazine this month.

See more here.

Agent Tango: I didn't think my shoes smelled this bad. Damn.... he could have at least turned out the light!

Agent Tango: Poor M. P. Well really it was his "friends" that suffered. I still can't believe the cops are saying M.P. won't be charged because they can't "prove" he was really taking a hit. Ummm..... didn't he practically admit it?? LOL. Fine, if he didn't then at least bring him in for questioning? Lame....

Read all about it here.

Eye Candy (Series 5)

2009-02-17T18:00:00.000-08:00

Agent Tango: Hmmmm.....maybe in Rio.....

Agent Tango: He's kinda skinny....the trunks are kinda baggy. But I guess they work.

Agent Tango: Nice blue trunks.

Agent Tango: An excellent photographer. See more here and here.

Agent Tango: Nice arrangement of colors and use of effects. A cool pic.

Stuff in the crosshairs.....

2009-02-16T20:47:00.000-08:00

Agent Tango: I don't care what anyone says, not only do I think that Terrence Howard did a great job in Iron Man but I also think he got royally screwed by Marvel and the producers. Yeah, yeah...money was probably an issue (see Defamer links) but still....they should have kept him and made it work somehow.

Agent Tango: Wow! J. B. can really chow down. I bet you wouldn't catch Pierce on the beach sporting a chip bag (or belly) that size (>>snicker<<). {Source: The Gossip Girls :G-Rated}

Agent Tango: This is a bizarre ad from Diesel. What does it mean/imply?

Agent Tango: Yikes, look at the quads on Mario! He must do some serious leg workouts. Bulging right through the jeans. That's cool....just don't over do it and look like this guy.
{Source: Pacific Coast News : G-Rated}

Agent Tango: A nice bowl'o'kitty in the morning does wonders. It's a great way to load up on vitamin....."P". (>>wink<<>>wink<<). Don't look so scared gato, you'll get some milk soon (poured all over you). {Source : L'HOMME EST UN CONCEPT : R-rated}

Agent Tango: Heh...leave it to 2 queeny guys to get a British guard to crack up. See the video here.

Nicely Ab-ed (3) :

2009-01-03T22:40:00.001-08:00

Agent Tango: Some Photoshopping I guess....but still a nice look

Agent Tango: Looks kinda like how I like my oatmeal: lumpy but firm.

Agent Tango: Show off.....

Agent Tango: WOW! Look at the ab separation on this guy! You could pour milk and eat cereal out of that. *How* does that happen?!?

Agent Tango: Kinda kinky looking in a way.

Agent Tango: I think he defines "lean"

Agent Tango: OK now this is just ridiculous. He must model for Marvel comics.

The Battle of the Bulge! (Act 12)

2009-01-03T17:59:00.000-08:00

Agent Tango: The battle is lost. Right, left, right, up (with stain?!.... oh my.)
:

Agent Tango: What type of outfit is this? Would it go all the way up to his shoulders or half way? Anyway, he has lost the battle....down and to the right.

Agent Tango: Hmmm...I'm not a fan of the huge waistband on underwear these days. It makes them look like grandpa briefs. Battle lost: straight down.

Agent Tango: Ah, the battle is *definitely* lost! He is raising the white flag.....or should i say: white tent!

Agent Tango: Oh c'mon. Lame pose...and you *know* all of his butt is exposed with the pants hanging that low. Battle lost: straight down.

Morning Workout (Lesson 8)

2009-01-02T14:07:00.000-08:00

Leg and torso lift (keep toes pointed).

Twist and touch toes.

Say "Hello" to your little friends.

Stuff in the crosshairs.....

2008-10-06T20:08:00.000-07:00

Agent Tango: Lindsay Lohan and her main squeeze Samantha Ronson

Agent Tango: Rachel Maddow (cable news show talk host)

Agent Tango: Hmmmm....Me'thinks they be twins!
Agent LaWhore: There really must be something in the water there on the Isle of Lesbos.
Agent Ajax: Odd coincidence or lesbionic tax dollars at work? You decide.
Agent Tango: There is a lesbian tax?!?

Agent Tango: OK. The story is a couple of months old. You can see it here. It still gets me that this dufus would bathe in the sink...pubes and all! Ick! And his name is Tim Tackett. Very tacky Mr Tackett. But now he is a star (of sorts). Go figure. See an interview of him here. (BTW: Someone fire his stylist)
Agent LaWhore: "My momma always told me the Sunlight detergent was sensitive on hands but tough on grease!"
Agent Ajax: I'll never look at a whopper the same way again...and I don't know how to feel about that : /

Agent Tango: Yeah Michael, I'd be a little pissed too. It appears to be a little too "form fitting" and sheer. We can see that Olympic tatt of yours clearly. I wonder if the back is like this also? LOL...I bet I know who designed this.... Agent Ajax!
Agent LaWhore: "... AND I look better than Robin in this tight suit!"
Agent Ajax: Surely, if I were to make this garment, I would let super twink wear it...that @ss is mine!
Agent Tango: Who is super twink??

Agent Tango: Hmmmm.... The Dark Knight meets Hancock? Are the floors sticky in this theatre? Heh....
Agent LaWhore: "Just sit right back and you'll hear a tale, a tale of a fateful trip.... That started from this tropic port aboard this large BLACK ship!"
Agent Tango: LaWhore, I think you need serious help....along with "a large black ship"
Agent Ajax: You know someone with no life and a limited range of humor staked out this theatre when they heard the release date.
Agent Tango: I *have* a life! OK?!

Agent Tango: Ahh, those eyes speak volumes. You *know* if he loses she's gonna be all "You should've picked me....Loser! (as she sips her wine)."
Agent LaWhore: She's thinking: "If only I could wiggle my nose like Samantha did in Bewitched!"
Agent Ajax: "Bitch stole my fish with a presidency twist."
Agent Tango: You lost me there. I've got to get out more.

Morning Workout (Lesson 7)

2008-10-05T13:23:00.001-07:00

Stool balance (keep toes pointed).

Diving board dance.

Pre-dive balance (curl toes + clench buttocks)

Ode d'Animalia (1)......

2008-10-04T13:04:00.000-07:00

Dirty squirrel, dirty squirrel
Where do you roam?

Dirty squirrel, dirty squirrel
So far from home.

I see you with your camera
I see you taking pix....

You hide in the trees
Getting your nut fix.

Those beady eyes...
You have no shame.

Those quick feet...
I KNOW your game.

Dirty squirrel, dirty squirrel
You think you're cool

Dirty squirrel, dirty squirrel
I'm no fool!

-Agent Tango

The Battle of the Bulge! (Act 11)

2008-09-30T23:18:00.000-07:00

Agent Tango: 3 battles won...one battle lost (big time!): up and to the left. I wonder what blondie is thinking about? His friends? A sale at Target? Hmmmm....
Agent LaWhore: "He wore an itsy bitsy teeny weiner creamy colored short bikini..."

Agent Ajax: Oh my...these have gotten more blatant since i was last here...why is everyone carrying on like nothings wrong with the not so big creme elephant in the room?

Agent Tango: He needs a playmate. Battle lost: up and to the left.
Agent LaWhore: "If I just hold the camera up here, maybe I'll look more butch in my GayRomeo profile photo!"
Agent Ajax: Sign me up, we can play some ball. please?

Agent Tango: Uh-oh. Mr hairy guy needs to buy larger briefs (unless he likes the "lateral drafts"). Battle lost: straight up (and maybe to the left a lil) !
Agent LaWhore: "That's funny, the last doctor just asked me to turn my head and cough"
Agent Ajax: They're air vents! They help keep him cool on those straightaways on his bike...(or thats what he tells himself)

Agent Tango: Lots of orange! Battle lost: to the right.
Agent LaWhore: The poor boy was rejected as a spokesperson/model for TANG.
Agent Ajax: I cry foul on this one...orange is soooooo not a sexy-esque color to me but to each their own. Nice legs though ;)

Scenes from a club (III)

2008-07-21T08:08:00.000-07:00

Agent Tango: No beer belly on this guy. He obviously loves giving his pubes some air. Monsieur Le Raunch!
Agent Sagittarius: Just add beer and you've got a party. Cheap date. Easy lay. What's the point in even having underwear?
Agent Tango: Well maybe it's good place to keep the occasional dollar bill or it could be used to get a good "grip" >>ahem!<< ??

Agent Tango: Why do a lot of clubs have black walls?!? Is it to hide the variety of "stains" that will eventually cover them?
Agent Sagittarius: Why am I never invited to these places? Black walls cover up a list of sins, not just in decorating you know?

Agent Tango: Hmmmm... Looks like a candidate for "Cover Up Da Booty". I see some fiend *is* trying to cover it with cash. That booty covering is almost like a fishnet. The catch of the night is... "Halibutt"...
Agent Sagittarius: Auditions for "Buttman and Throbbin: Masked Crusader", where's Boy Wonder?
Agent Tango: In that outfit there isn't much to wonder about.

Agent Tango: Now this brotha is gettin paid! I hope he invests it in a good mutual fund or IRA...
Agent Sagittarius: More incentive for the me to work out. Whose dick do I have to suck to earn money like that?
Agent Tango: Hmmm...Well, isn't your town full of Senators?

Morning Workout (Lesson 6)

2008-07-21T08:07:00.001-07:00

Double friend lift.

Seated shoelace tie (with teeth).

Flying barefoot kick (requires friend or enemy).

Cover up da booty! (part 10)........

2008-07-21T08:06:00.001-07:00

Agent Tango: My gosh! Airborn booty! Can you imagine what would happen of he lands the wrong way (ie: on his butt). Those cheeks would be scarred for life. Cover up da booty!!
Agent Sagittarius: It could be worse. He could have worn his girlfriend's thong. Now that would be emotionally scarring for life.

Agent Tango: The bed appears to be in order in this cheap hotel room. Obviously there was a male maid who came in, cleaned up the room, made the bed, and yanked down the green trunks for his "tip" (A chic would have woke him up and demanded cash). Hey phool!! Wake up and cover up....da booty!

Agent Tango: Awwwwww....freaky! Freaky! A shoe fetishist! And look at those socks.....good grief. My friend....cover the feet AND da booty!
Agent Sagittarius: You now what they say about a man with a big shoe, right?
Agent Tango: Ummm....they have lots of sole??

Stuff in the crosshairs.....

2008-07-21T08:03:00.001-07:00

Agent Tango: So the "obscenity" case was dropped. CBS is breathing a bigger sigh of relief than Janet's boob did that night.
Agent Sagittarius: The hopes and dreams of future "wardrobe malfunctions" will live on for teenage boys across the US.
Agent Tango: What about teenage girls?

Agent Tango: LOL. So one of the finalists in the HGTV "Design Star" contest...a policeman!... turns out to have a "secret" gay past involving a bondage flic. And not even a "mild" one....a hardcore ropes, flails, leg-iron, bent over the table bondage flic! Damn! LOL..... Who did you think you could fool??! LOL. Interviews take on a whole new light when you know details:

"What is your most unusual talent?
A lot of people don't realize, I speak Spanish."

Uh-hunh: "Si papi! Siiiiiiiiiiiii!"

More details on this story here and here.

Agent Sagittarius: What the report neglects to tell you is that he decorated the set himself. Even pornos need a set decorator.

Agent Tango: What does this look convey?
Agent Sagittarius: Feed me.
Agent Tango: I'm sure he's....well fed.

Agent Tango: A pit-sniffer! This will only lead to licking.

Nicely Ab-ed (2) :

2008-07-21T08:01:00.001-07:00

Agent Tango: LOL...oiled and "bronzed" but nice abs. Hmmm...he has nipple bars. Kink alert!
Agent Sagittarius: Who photoshopped my face off this??!?

Agent Tango: Actually this guy looks more like you Agent Sagittarius
Agent Sagittarius: Why would I advertise undewear that obviously doesn't fit??

The Battle of the Bulge! (Act 10)

2008-07-21T07:57:00.000-07:00

Agent Tango: The strings are hanging out..but what the hel* are they for?? Hmmm, I'm assuming they are part of his "swimming trunks"....or more appropriately called "junk trunks" (cause that's all the cover).....lol... Anyway, aside from the insane abs you can tell this guy is hanging straight down: battle of the bulge is lost.
Agent Sagittarius: So the abs HAVE to be airbrushed. The strings are a makeshift c-ring. Seems to not work as well though. I have a similar pair. I call them my marble sack.
Agent Tango: You always think a pic of nice abs is airbrushed. Jealous? And that "marble sack" of yours only sports two marbles... and they are NOT shooters.

Agent Tango: Not even a jockstrap?? Here is a warning: You opponent's first move might involve a knee! Battle (and match) lost: Up and to the left.
Agent Sagittarius: Scandinavian Olympic wrestler. "'Alo. My name is Bjorn, and I forgota my cup. Can you help me?"
Agent Tango: "forgota" ?!? You said Scandinavian, NOT Italian!

Agent Tango: Hmmmm......Undies as they should be worn. This battle of the bulge is at a stalemate: down and to the right.
Agent Sagittarius: Doesn't anyone wear them just down anymore? I guess it could be uncomfortable if you're huge and it goes down to your taint or beyond. But if you're gay, you may like it.
Agent Tango: What's a "taint"? >>cough!<<

Stuff in the crosshairs.....

2008-05-26T20:12:00.000-07:00

Agent Tango: Well he was kinda dorky but now he is a dorky *LOSER*......

Agent Tango: Paris?!?....Itchy cooch? C'mon, show some *discretion*! (A picture worthy of the cover of GUP ... nice site!)
Agent Needle: Even without signs or symptoms, it is still possible to spread herpes to others

Agent Tango: I know this was awhile back but I couldn't resist. Those legs! Those legs! (lol.... Sorry Trent.... I couldn't resist. Photo via Oh La La!)

Agent Tango: Cole Mohr....new fashion "It Boy"....bleh. Just another "horny devil". What's up with the tatts?? Can't he remember the calendar (hmmm....maybe he really is blond)
{See him speak (!!) here.... David Archuleta I take back my earlier "dorky" comment. Mr Mohr seems to be the new "Dorkus Maximus"}

Happy New Year!

2008-01-01T15:58:00.000-08:00

Finally 2008! But where have *all* the agents gone?!? Am I the last one? Dang. I better get some new backup. Oh well, in the meantime...........

Stuff in the crosshairs.....

2008-01-01T15:57:00.000-08:00

Agent Tango: LOL…. A disfigured Justin Timberlake? Hmmm…. Now if they also make him a bit psychotic then I’ll go see it..

Links here and here.

Agent Tango: Why would you chew a razor handle? Really……why would you do it?? Admit it Bruce Weber, you just wanted him naked...lol

Agent Tango: I can only imagine what K-Fed is thinking. LOL. You can tell what Paris has on her mind...

Agent Tango: I’m not so sure about this version of the Joker in the upcoming Batman movie...

Agent Tango: I *guess* it could work. Heath Ledger is pretty versatile (**cough**) so we’ll see...

Agent Tango: Hmmm….Cool or gay? :

Agent Tango: More at Toot

The Battle of the Bulge! (Act 9)

2008-01-01T14:04:00.000-08:00

Agent Tango: Hey now! The police have entered into the battle. Talk about "copping a feel"! Uh-hunh. Frisk and *grope*, eh, officer McFeely? Tsk…tsk…..
The clip is here .......

Agent Tango: Up and to the left. Always stretch and flex your muscles in the morning...or is it the evening? Oh well, both!

Agent Tango: His smile isn't the only thing that's indicating he's getting happy. Down and to the left a little.....

Agent Tango: Hmmm....doing a push-up can hurt some people. Maybe he just wobbles and rocks at the low point?....kinda like when you balance a skateboard on a softball?

Agent Tango: Hmmm... Looks like he's "pointing" to the right. I hope there's strong elastic at the top of those trunks....

Agent Tango: You know a jock is tight if you can tell if a dude is cut or uncut....

Agent Tango: LOL. Is he checking to see if it's still there?!?

Nicely Ab-ed (1) :

2008-01-01T13:41:00.001-08:00

Agent Tango: Hmmm....These guys have......."fur":

Agent Tango: I'm guessing 0.01% body fat on this next guy...

Agent Tango: The small smooth spot on this guy's right ab must be the 3 oz of creatine mix he swallowed just before the pic was taken....

Agent Tango: Nice tan on the last guy. Go to Les Ombres for more!

Stuff in the crosshairs.....

2007-08-10T01:06:00.001-07:00

Agent Tango: Finally a flaw! Chad White has ugly feet. It's kinda rare for a guy to actually have nice looking feet but generally male "super models" should have better looking feet. I guess it could be worse. He could have "Chewbaca-feet"!
Agent Ajax: Come now! You act like he isn't human! With the exception of his pinky toe, he has an ok foot. GET IT CHADDY! *drools*

Agent Tango: Heh heh

Agent Tango: OK, Gary Dourdan is one of my favorite actors....heh, I shouldn't comment but a few weeks ago he roughed up the paparazzi. You can see the clips on TMZ here. (Hmmm....who was the dude he was hugging??) Normally it seems like he is pretty cool. I guess they got to him that day....The bad side of all this is now everyone in L.A. knows that if they see a dude with a red helmet on a Ducati..... it's prolly him.

Agent Ajax: Fuck those fools....they deserve what they got. I can't stand paparazzi...they pester celebs to death and then act all confused once they get annoyed that their personal space is constantly challenged.

The Battle of the Bulge! (Act 8)

2007-08-10T00:45:00.001-07:00

Agent Tango: Up and to the left. This is a "tight fit"!
Agent Sagittarius: He needs to move up a size

Agent Tango: Straight down + catch-a-breeze action. I hope he's not planning on doing jumping jacks.
Agent Sagittarius: Someone's a little excited

Agent Tango: I am not!

Agent Tango: Hmmm...down and to the right? And what does that shirt say?! "Sac City" indeed....
Agent Sagittarius: What's that white stuff dripping down his shirt?

Agent Tango: Track dust?

Agent Tango: My gosh!.... Is there even a bulge?!? Maybe he dropped a peanut M&M in his trunks!
Agent Sagittarius:He wore an "itsy bitsy, teenie weenie....." Is that they way the song goes?
Agent Tango: Close enough....

Agent Tango: Down and to the right but I can't figure out the "thigh bands"...
Agent Sagittarius: Who cares how they work. They're hot.
Agent Tango: Hmmm....I guess.

Agent Tango: He's doing his laundry and showering at the same times. Points for multi-tasking!
Agent Sagittarius: Dammit, Al Gore got to him. He's doing his part of water conservation.

Agent Tango: Another "pimple boy". Down and to the right (if you use a magnifier)
Agent Sagittarius: Maybe he's a grower not a shower.
Agent Tango: He'll need to grow a lot to make up for his ...."short cummings"

Agent Tango: Now these do not look comfortable...
Agent Sagittarius: Either pull them down or roll the waist down..

Agent Tango: "Roll the waist down"?? I see what you're after....lol

Stuff in the crosshairs.....

2007-07-22T13:40:00.000-07:00

Agent Tango: I wonder if I started swinging around a lot if it would improve my physique?
Agent Apocalypse: Well it worked for Tarzan
Agent Tango: I'm not wearing a loincloth.

Agent Tango: Harry Potter mania... blah. Hmmm... Looks like someone is into leather and eye-liner in this pic..... Just what sort of "scene" is he into I wonder... I bet I know (see last week's pic)
Agent Apocalypse: Hey this guy used to live down the hall from me... I always wondered about the screaming animals

Agent Tango: I just don't get this entire "stretch the earlobe" thing...... What would make dudes and chics with ....nice faces..... wild-out their "look" with stretched ears?

Agent Tango: ...and face piercings on top of that. I just don't quite get it.
Agent Apocalypse: Leave the face peircings out of this... I look shekshi with my spikes all over the place.
Agent Tango: Yes, we all know why you have your tongue pierced........

Agent Tango: You think he shaves his chest?
Agent Apocalypse: Probably.

Agent Tango: Chad White....Chad white.... Chad White.... There doesn't seem to be an end to this guy's media "appeal". I guess we are contributing to it. But hey, I'm not some sycophant... It's not like *I'm* some obsessed fan! .......
Agent Apocalypse: Who? *{looks confused}*
Agent Tango: Never mind....

Agent Tango: Hmmm.... He's not wet...but I think now Agent Sagittarius is....
Agent Apocalypse: He's not even in the water.
Agent Apocalypse: That reminds me I was invited to a Luau today
Agent Tango: Oh?
Agent Tango: Will you wear a grass skirt?
Agent Apocalypse: No
Agent Tango: Can't you wear those to a Luau?
Agent Apocalypse: Yes but I'm not going to...
Agent Apocalypse: I'm probably gonna stay home....
Agent Tango: Have you ever?
Agent Apocalypse: Yes
Agent Tango: What was under the grass skirt?
Agent Apocalypse: Shorts.
Agent Tango: Tasteful...
Agent Tango: Did you smoke the skirt afterwards?.....

Cover up da booty! (part 9)........

2007-07-16T00:07:00.000-07:00

Agent Tango: Ice cold booty. Snow-covered cheeks!! Cover it up! Cover it up! He's *gotta* be cold!
Agent Apocalypse: Oh dear lord, it's like a Columbian druglord's boy-toy fantasy ...*sniff sniff*

Agent Tango: Courtesy of Oh La La we have half a dozen tushes. All exposed!! What is going on here?? What a cheeky display!
Agent Apocalypse: The guy in front seems very enthusiastic about this shot

Agent Tango: Another "cheeky" display. This almost looks like an orgy. Blonde-boy needs to turn *and cover* the other cheek!
Agent Apocalypse: {tilts head to side, confused}

Agent Tango: It looks like he is searching for something. I hope it's a pair of briefs. Cover it up man! Cover it up!
Agent Apocalypse: Yeah hopefully it's MY pair of briefs...
Agent Tango: {Hoses down Agent Apocalypse}

Agent Tango: *What* kind of massage is this?? His hand is firmly gripping that butt-cheek! Will there be a "happy ending" to this story?
Agent Apocalypse: "...just a little to the left... oh yeah that's the spot "

Agent Tango: I don't care how fit and acrobatic you are....the booty *must* be covered at all times!
Agent Apocalypse: Who wants to bet this guy was a cheerleader
Agent Tango: For what team??

Agent Tango: Harry needs to keep it covered!! Muggles beware!! A naked man-boy wizard will cast a spell on you!! He's not holding a wand...oh wait.....

Morning Workout (Lesson 5)

2007-07-15T23:47:00.000-07:00

Stretch.....

Hangimg crunches.....

Use a workout partner.....

Beat a workout partner (while naked)..........

Eye Candy (Series 4)

2007-07-15T17:42:00.000-07:00

Agent Tango: Interesting use of shadows. I believe the model's name is Sean O'Pry.
Agent Sagittarius: Is this where Vulcans come from?
Agent Tango: I guess the eyebrows and hair are a bit "Mr. Spock-ish"

Agent Tango: I guess it's all about the "abs" these days....
Agent Sagittarius:So, once you put on a piece of "tribal" jewelry does that make you "exotic"?
Agent Tango: Yes....

Agent Tango: I guess have a "pretty face" can get ya places too.... I'm betting this guy is short.
Agent Sagittarius: "Um, no mom I wasn't looking at my ass in the mirror. ...."
Agent Tango: (..but Agent Ajax was....)

Agent Tango: Again with the abs. Hmph....
Agent Sagittarius: I'm too sexy for my shirt?
Agent Tango: That was lame. "Right Said Fred??" C'mon now....

Agent Tango: I wonder what he is thinking.....
Agent Sagittarius: I knew i missed out on something when I opted out of wrestling, but I didn't think it was this.
Agent Tango: See? I told you not to sign up for the cheerleading squad.

Agent Tango: Naked and frustrated? ...or Frustrated and naked?
Agent Sagittarius: "God why does this keep happening to me? This is the third time this month. I don't even remember how I got here..."
Agent Tango: Let's see, I can *distinctly* remember a certain drunk Agent Sagittarius calling me from his doorstep 1 year ago, locked out of his apartment. Were *you* naked as well? Does this pic hit too close to homo...errr...home?

Agent Tango: More frustration. At least his booty is covered.
Agent Sagittarius: He can't afford a better place to live but he can afford 2(x)ist undies. Where are his priorities?
Agent Tango: On his booty...

Agent Tango: Once again there is nakedness. What if a crab comes up from behind him and pinches his booty..or even worse...his.. "stuff" ?!?
Agent Sagittarius: I'm cold, wet, naked, and want to go home.
Agent Tango: Didn't you say that last week at the end of your friend's birthday party?

Agent Tango: What is he doing with his tongue??!
Agent Sagittarius: What is he wearing? And the hair?
Agent Tango: Gap rejects. The hair is very "Curious George-ish".

Stuff in the crosshairs......

2007-07-04T21:43:00.001-07:00

Agent Tango: Matt Damon can surf?? Who knew?!! .....

Agent Tango: Chad white is everywhere! Everyone seems to be "ga-ga" over him. Must be the ....fuzzy haircut...
Agent Sagittarius: I think it's the eyebrows

Agent Tango: Or is it the abs?.....
Agent Sagittarius: He looks fat here.....or pregnant

Agent Tango: Yikes! ... Nick Lachey and Vanessa Minnillo...naked...having sex in Mexico... "Viva la hot tub!"
Agent Sagittarius: One more celebrity sex tape. How many of these do we have to see before people realize that they do the same things that regular people do?
Agent Tango: Hey, I don't have sex in Mexican hot tubs....Am I not regular?!?

Agent Tango: The elastic isn't enough?!...or is he too cheap to buy a leather harness?
Agent Sagittarius: I knew I wasn't the only one who needs suspenders to keep their underwear up.

Agent Tango: Hmmm....I wonder how I would look with a "mop top"...
Agent Sagittarius: "I just woke up. I'm hungry, and I look like shit, You smile for the camera."

Agent Tango: Who sleeps like this?!?....Talk about horny!
Agent Sagittarius: Breakfast in bed? I'll take two please?
Agent Tango: Two of what?....nevermind... I don't wanna know....

Agent Tango: It's good to see that Paris is recovering in Hawaii and turning over a new leaf...>>ahem!<<
Agent Sagittarius: She's finally wearing something down there. Maybe she's practicing lamaze. You know she'll be pregnant soon since she doesn't wear undewear. She just taking her chances.
Agent Tango: Be nice :-)

Morning Workout (Lesson 4)

2007-07-04T21:41:00.001-07:00

One-armed handstand.....

Kick-boxing....(clothing optional).....

Pilates exercise ball.....

Push-ups...in bed.....

Random stuff......

2007-06-17T10:07:00.000-07:00

Agent Tango: My question is: Would he look better with a haircut?
Agent Sagittarius: Body hair cut. Shave the chest, then yeah, he's hotter.

Agent Tango: Wow, he's like a super-hero. He's got the physique, the stance, the groovy briefs. He could be "Captain Pectoral!"
Agent Sagittarius: He's like the little boy that's trying to be a superhero. All he needs is a towel around his neck.

Agent Tango: One should never have balls on their forehead.....I don't care what kind of party is going on.....
Agent Sagittarius: No balls on my forehead, ever? There goes my social life.
Agent Tango: Ugh, you lifted that comment from the movie "Clueless" didn't you?

Agent Tango: Leg-lifts are good......but he is naked! Ass exposed! He seems happy about it. Hmm..... perhaps I should have used this in "Cover up da booty"?..... Perky butt-cheeks...
Agent Sagittarius: He's happy because he's gonna land on something.

Agent Tango: The life of the party or the arch-nemesis of "Capt. Pectoral"? Check out that hair. He's like a latin Fabio. That one chic is getting a taste. I bet that is his power.. He hypnotizes women with his hair, then gets them to take a "nip-sip" and become his zombie slave.
Agent Sagittarius: Hedwig goes to Mexico? Hedwig does college co-eds?

Agent Tango: Antonio tops Justin, and it looks like Justin is yelling. A noisey bottom boy...>>Ahem!!<<
Agent Sagittarius: Beginning of a cat fight. Antonio caught Justin flirting with his man...and then just jumped on the guy.

Agent Tango: Aw c'mon now! A beret?! Kink city. I wonder what would make it fall off? >>Ahem!!<<
Agent Sagittarius: So he hates Americans and he can't drive. Just kidding.

Agent Tango: More kink. That thong is disappearing up his "glute-cleft". I wonder if it is a "T" or "Y" back thong?.......
Agent Sagittarius: Was there a hidden camera in my bedroom the other day? This is my typical evening at home.

Agent Tango: Ah, based on the reflection, I see it is a "Y"-back thong. I wonder what the people in the office buildings across the street think.
Agent Sagittarius: They're looking for an application to work at the office across the street.

Agent Tango: Blah!....eye candy.
Agent Sagittarius: This is kind of scary. Something about it.

Agent Tango: So you go to this site and you can role-play. You make your way through a gay bar with "special rooms". Dammit, if I had known I could create a game based on Agent Ajax's weekend life I would have done it a long time ago!!
Agent Sagittarius: It's cheaper than a night out, and i don't have to worry about remembering the name of the guy I'm sleeping next to....

Agent Tango: People over in the U.K. appear to be upset about this gigantic ad placed on a farm field near an airport (visible to passengers as they land). LOL. Can you imagine if a nun or a priest is coming home or to visit and they see this? Or what if the Queen sees it?!? Hmmmm... I bet Harry has already visited this place.
Agent Sagittarius:It's smart advertising. Can you blame them?

The Battle of the Bulge! (Act 7)

2007-06-16T21:53:00.000-07:00

Agent Tango: Why would someone store their suntan bottle there?...... (the bottle is pointing up and to the right btw) :-)
Agent Sagittarius: It's so he doesn't lose it. It has nothing to do with the fact that it'll make his package look biger.

Agent Tango: A view from the Friday afternoon "Agent Apocalypse-O-Cam".....

Agent Tango: Canadians(?) on the bottom..... Looks like: up and right, down and left, straight up, up and right, straight down..... Don't these guys know about padded jockstraps? That's gotta hurt when riding!
Agent Sagittarius: Some guys like to ride and have their nuts tortured. I met one last night.
Agent Tango: >>Ahem!!<<

Cover up da booty! (part 8)........

2007-06-16T21:07:00.001-07:00

Agent Tango: OK, who goes to the laundrymat in the buff?! Booty hanging all out and stuff... Does he also "fluff and fold" naked?
Agent Sagittarius: Well, when you don't want to go home to ANY dirty laundry, some OCD people tend to wash naked.

Agent Tango: Ahh, the "United Colors of Booty-ton"......Cover up da booties!

Agent Tango: OK, for starters it's a mini-fridge -on the floor- !! Dang, is he too poor to get a couple of milk crates or something? Oh, he must be.....he can even afford clothes! Citizens! Remember, no matter how poor you are, you *must* cover up da booty!
Agent Sagittarius: Nothing like an after sex, midnight snack.

Agent Tango: Britney! My gosh girl, you need proper coverage of your Justin, K-Fed - tapped ass! Flashing the paparazzi with these undies....it's downright ho-ish!
Agent Sagittarius : I won't do it.
Agent Tango: Ha! Your panties are always in a bunch Agent Sagittarius!

Agent Tango: I see Agent Apocalypse is home from a typical night of clubbing and partying.....
Agent Sagittarius: I've heard of explosive diarrhea, but this takes it to a new level
Agent Tango: Ew!

Vote for Goofball of The Week!

2007-06-09T11:31:00.000-07:00

Yippie Ki-Yay, Link-Clicker!!

2007-05-28T19:01:00.000-07:00

Ahhh!! Our 1-Year anniversary!! Who knew it would last this long!? I think we’ve done well but there is still room for improvement. 26,000 hits is a drop in the bucket. We should be getting that in one day. Hmmm….. I/we will work on it.

In the meantime, to celebrate here is a megapost. Choc-full-O’-eye candy and comments. Plus a mini post representing our “regular” sections (“Cover Up Da Booty”, “Battle of the Bulge”, “Scenes From A Club”, “Eye Candy”, “Morning Workout”, etc.). Also, a new agent joins us: Agent Sagittarius. Enjoy!!

Eye Candy

Agent Tango: Hmph!...A model “mug shot”. I guess he passes (feet are a bit gnarly though)…
Agent Sagittarius: Are these preliminary pictures of the newest SIM character?
Agent Ajax: How can u even see that, Tango? lol...perfectionist...

Agent Tango: Looks as though he is waiting/looking for something. I’ve never quite understood the “strings out” thing….
Agent Ajax: He's adorable....strings always out...well, maybe not on undies, but always on cargo shorts/pants.

Agent Tango: A cheesy grin. Nice abs though.
Agent Sagittarius: He's got a bigger chest that my mom. I can't tell, is the pulling them up or bringing them down? Buttons closed? I'm all kinds of confused.
Agent Ajax: All I can think about is laundry; that and chocolate...... weird.
Agent Tango: I'm not Sigmund Freud but I believe you are thinking about "washboard" abs....and his chocolately "oh-my goodness"....

Agent Tango: A cheesier grin on this guy….and even better abs. What exercises do these dudes do I wonder…
Agent Ajax: My friend Margie said once, "...you have to suck c*ck to get that sort of muscle definition" ....fitting that you found this with a porn site label on it!
Agent Tango: Hey, wait a minute!!! My muscle definition is just as good as this guys.... What are you saying?! WHAT ARE YOU SUGGESTING?!? {Dammit, I need a Kleenex for my chin >>ahem!<<}

Agent Tango: Blah…generic eye candy…..
Agent Sagittarius: Should I wear my hair up or down tonight? I hate making this decision every day.
Agent Ajax: Generic!?!?! He looks a bit more real than most dudes you run on here, ringleader ;)

Agent Tango: What is he sitting on? Is that an ancient car seat?
Agent Sagittarius: I don't know what happened. I just turned the key to the igntion. The next thing I remember is waking up in this car seat naked.
Agent Tango: Ahhh...so now we know what happens late at night when Batman cruises around the red-light district in his Batmobile.
Agent Ajax: This looks like the beginning of a very awkward yoga pose...but a random note, I like the way his foot is positioned. hahaha

Agent Tango: In a way this guy reminds me of the “El Pollo Loco Guy”. What do u think?
Agent Ajax: I think you are strangely right AND you have waaay too much time on your hands...

Agent Tango: Look at that “canyon” in his abs. Hmm… what exercise causes THAT?
Agent Sagittarius: My guess: it hides a plastic surgery scar. Those can't be real.
Agent Tango: Look a "fix pack" {inside joke}
Agent Ajax: Forget his ab canyon, look at the serial killer look on his face...

Agent Tango: …and another “ab canyon”…..
Agent Sagittarius: This doctor did them better. More believeable
Agent Tango: You just want to do JELL-O shots out of that canyon...
Agent Ajax: I bet all he eats is chicken breast and coke. lines of coke. Hahaha
Agent Tango: {Imagines some fiend doing a line out of his ab canyon....decadent!}

Agent Tango: The cliché “I’m-leaning-back-against-a-post-shirtless” pose….blah…
Agent Ajax: Nothing satisfies you, "mein herr"....if you don't like it, give us a pic with your best pose....no knee pads this time ; )

Agent Tango: Here we see it again!
Agent Ajax: Would it be better if it was sacreligious.... Jesus-style? lol Help him with his sins..
Agent Tango: NO. I'm just saying that the pose is too cliche.

Agent Tango: I guess this is the “dirty-sexy” look…
Agent Sagittarius: Black socks with white underwear. Major fashion faux pas. Is this his mug shot in the fashion police lockup?
Agent Tango: Good eye! I never noticed that....
Agent Ajax: I never once saw the socks....just the severe gorgeousness...damn....*excuses himself*
Agent Tango: Hey! Wipe that up! Messy agent......

Agent Tango: Hmmm…so this guy is a stripper?? (looking at the pic logo in the bottom corner). Amazing....Hey!! Agent Ajax! Put that money away! (and you're holding dollar bills!.....cheap-ass...)
Agent Sagittarius: His reputation's following him. Look at the deer in headlights. Any coincidence that he wet himself?
Agent Tango: A stain of "happiness"?
Agent Ajax: That blue....whatever the hell it is...it is horribly atrocious...

Agent Tango: It's all about the hair......I'll call it: Dragon Bangs!
Agent Ajax: Asian Sephiroth....

Eye Candy (Series 3)
Eye Candy (Series 2)
Eye Candy (Series 1)

Misc. comments....

Agent Tango: I think a bird is giving his opinion of the President’s current Iraq/Middle East policy…….
Agent Sagittarius: "Is my lapel pin talking to me again?"
Agent Ajax: Perfect! Bush sh%ts on the environment, the environment sh%ts on Bush.

Agent Tango: I’m afraid to make a post about Brittney…I might go to my car one morning and have this happen! {I'm serious! ...I just won't say anything about her!}
Agent Sagittarius: That makes two of us
Agent Ajax: Pop will eat itself.

Agent Tango: I soooo don’t wanna be X-Ray’d / Magnet-O-Sketched / whatever … to this level of detail. Imagine what the screener would see!! All of my…”private business”!!
Agent Sagittarius: Like you need a fancy machine to see your "private business." Last time I checked we get this up close and personal after a few drinks.
Agent Tango: Is that an Uzi in your pocket or are you happy to see me?
Agent Ajax: Is this just a test shot or was some dude found this loaded? He's got nice calves, whatever the case. Haha

Agent Tango: Hmmm... Screw the iPod, where do I sign up for this?!
Agent Sagittarius: Is this a gifcard? I know a few that can use this.
Agent Ajax: I'll get you the silver bullet edition, Tango. :D

Agent Tango: Speaking of all things "i"..... I've seen the pictures and read about the features of the new iPhone. I can think of 5 reasons why it may not be too popular:
1. People like their flip-phones! The iPhone is flat and mono-lithic!
2. After speaking, pecking, watching movies, etc... I bet trying to keep that screen clean will be a bit%h!
3. I haven't heard if it will support voice commands like some current phones do.....This will be a limitation....
4. People like physical "keys". Number keys and/or a small sliding keyboard (think Blackberry). The appeal of relatively small touchscreens is limited. Also, if for whatever reason your screen messes up then you are screwed....no phone!
5. It's kinda big.
Agent Ajax: You forget it's an Apple product. They could sh%t on a stick and encase it in smooth white plastic and it would sell like pure Columbian out front of Paris' house.

Agent Tango: I hope he has a shirt and undies in his backpack. I think this is from the Phillipines….Grife! I see a Starbucks in the background…..
Agent Ajax: He's cute...

The battle of the bulge

Agent Tango: Up and to the left…..baby-boyish face….
Agent Ajax: Baby boy's got some thick thighs...represent, boo!

The Battle of the Bulge! (Act 6)
The Battle of the Bulge! (Act 5)
The Battle of the Bulge! (Act 4)
The Battle of the Bulge! (Act 3)
The Battle of the Bulge! (Act 2)
The Battle of the Bulge! (Act 1)

Scenes from a club

Agent Tango: I see a towel but no sweat…I see an arm sweatband but no sweat! …. I see a head sweatband but no sweat!! Work it harder! Harder!! LOL
Agent Sagittarius: I don't think that's a towel. And is that a baby bottle next to his feet?
Agent Tango: That's a towel. It's twisted and he's holding it both hands behind him.....
Agent Ajax: Lovin the baseball socks, he needs a small terrycloth baby blue fit...little shorts and a half jacket...Hahaha

Agent Tango: Limber indeed…. I’m betting he left the club with more guys than her……
Agent Sagittarius: Where's her other hand?
Agent Tango: I don't wanna know.....
Agent Ajax: Where's her other hand? It looks like it got lost somewhere...I'm lookin at you, heel stretch...

Scenes from a club (II) ... mega edition
Scenes from a club (I)

Cover up da Booty!

Agent Tango: Oh c’mon. Pull those workout pants up. You know you only pulled them down for the camera…
Agent Sagittarius: You can't say that Tango. This type of stuff cannot be just for the camera. It happens every day. Don't wreck my daydreams.
Agent Ajax: I thought that was how everyone walked around....my life is a sham...

Agent Tango: OK. Maybe the reason why they are down is because after he finishes with his face he will shave something else?
Agent Ajax: Rotund!!! smack it.
Agent Tango: It will jiggle.

Agent Tango: Hmmmm….What is he doing/working on??
Agent Sagittarius: Are those wings? Heaven, must be missing an angel.
Agent Tango: Change your name to "Agent Cheesy". That line can't possibly work at a club, bar, or street corner....
Agent Ajax: He needs a sandwich... i can see his pecs through his back and his pants are damn near falling off his a$$

Agent Tango: Does he need a sandwhich or a ...Po' Boy? >>ahem!<<

Agent Tango: See? This is what Agent Ajax has to endure every Monday following his weekend of partying….
Agent Sagittarius: So how many of these do I get if I refer someone?
Agent Tango: Keep your referrals.
Agent Ajax: What the hell is that supposed to mean? I thought you were finally giving us a self-portrait of you getting steroids shot up your buttcheek. : ) All joking aside, that man is cute but i don't understand why we are getting a view of ass shots...lol

Cover up da booty! (part 7)........
Cover up da booty! (part 6)........
Cover up da booty! (part 5)........
Cover up da booty! (part 4)........
Cover up da booty! (part 3)........
Cover up da booty! (part 2)........
Cover up da booty! (part 1)........

Morning Workout

Pre-workout stretch #1 ....

Pre-workout stretch #2! Work it freak boy!!

Morning Workout (Lesson 3)
Morning Workout (Lesson 2)
Morning Workout (Lesson 1)

Muscle Control

Chair is not needed #1 ....

Chair is not needed #2 !!

Muscle Control (Part 3)....
Muscle Control (Part 2)....
Muscle Control (Part 1)....

The Battle of the Bulge! (Act 6)

2007-05-26T05:03:00.000-07:00

Agent Tango: Up, and to the left. Very low cut. This appears to be an improvement. I believe he is the dude from the jockstrap pic from last week.
Agent Ajax: I like the look of the other one. More is being said with his face and body language...super hot. Looks like a mini sharpie or somethin here...
Agent Tango: Sharpie? Nah, I'd go with a ....fat Bic. Yes, it looks like he has a really fat Bic >>Ahem!<<

Agent Tango: OK, I *think* up but my gosh....it's so small. Two of the beads around his neck would make a larger "package". I guess it just goes to show you that a hot bod doesn't always imply "big things down under".
Agent Ajax: Shakira called, she wants her jewelry back.

Agent Tango: LOL. Straight down but c'mon AussieBum. How practical are these trunks? Look at that. The second you run on the beach it's all over. I see a surf board. Do they honestly want us to believe that those will stay on while surfing? LOL Let's have a closer look....
Agent Ajax: Give me a face! Haha

Agent Tango: Yeah, look at that. C'mon now. One might as well wear a Bounty paper towel for surfing...
Agent Ajax: Haha... they really werent joking were they? The side of a textured garbage bag.
Agent Tango: "Garbage bag"? Let's not be too harsh. How about: "jewel pouch"?

Agent Tango: Hmm...straight down. Her again is another case of "micro phallus". Sad...sad..sad.... Although I better keep quiet. WIth that bod he could probably kick my ass.... NOT! lol
Agent Ajax: How much of the situation do you think is caused by stage fright? Hmm...
Agent Tango: I'm not sure...that look he has isn't quite "deer in the headlights"....it's more like "queer in the headlights"

Agent Tango: Straight down but this guy knows how to relax. I can tell he likes to "catch a breeze". Notice the gap. Tickle...tickle!.......
Agent Ajax: I could use a nap...pillow provided already...
Agent Tango: Fluff that pillow before you go...errr..."lay" down.

Agent Tango: Impressive physique! Not so impressive straight-downer. S'ok. It could be worse.
Agent Ajax: You're a stickler for perfection...he's gorgeous, but his stomach muscles are ridiculous.

Agent Tango: Down and to the right....but c'mon! This is as bad as the A-Bum pix from above. Are we honestly to believe that he jumps rope wearing that?!? No way. Now in *theory* if that thing is fitting super-super-tight I *guess* he could get away with it but that would be *highly* uncomfortable!
Agent Ajax: Of course he doesn't do anything besides stand around in that damn thing... Haha

Agent Tango: Whoa!! This is the rare "something-exploded-in-my-undies" pic. We have seen this before. Up and to the right.....I just wonder what happened....was there a hand-job grenade in those undies?
Agent Ajax: There would have to be some shrapnel in those hips for it to be a grenade job...Me thinks this is the handywork of a mortar. It *IS* shaped like a mouth...

Agent Tango: Hmmm....I can't tell which way he's hangin'. We need some viewer feedback on this one. Seeing how low that bulge is, i'd have to say straight down but i dunno.
Agent Ajax: I don't care what way he is hanging *.*
Agent Tango: >>Ahem!<<

Agent Tango: Artsy. Down and to the left.
Agent Ajax: Be careful, don't sneeze and rip half the stitches in the gear!

SPECIAL PLUG:

Thanks for the link Close Conundrums!

Morning Workout (Lesson 3)

2007-05-25T01:10:00.000-07:00

Get ready....Set.....

Run!!

Arm workout.....

Leg stretch 1 .....

Leg stretch 2 .....

Pose .....

Posing improperly? Perhaps you should watch a video with instructions (follow link... at the bottom) on how to be a proper muscle poser .... ;-)

....and remember to workout EVERY muscle group !!

Eye Candy (Series 3)

2007-05-21T12:12:00.001-07:00

Agent Tango: It looks like he can carry a......heavy load!
Agent Ajax: His arms look small compared to his body...but im still sure he could carry that load....you dirty betch. AHAHA!

Agent Tango: Hmph!....He mocks us with his bod. "Who needs a shirt? I can just paint up my chest (and it'll still look better than any form-fitting overpriced tee!)"
Agent Apocalypse: Well he can pump me up ANY time
Agent Tango: Do you need a towel?
Agent Ajax: I know I do...*twitches*

Agent Tango: Just another pretty face.....
Agent Apocalypse: "I lost my puppy" look
Agent Tango: Aww, you still have a dog face ;-)
Agent Ajax: We as a community of penises attached to gay men need to shift away from the want for men that look like they're 6 years old.
Agent Tango: Hey!! What's with this "we" business?? >>Ahem!<<

Agent Tango: I see......lumps!
Agent Ajax: Lovely manly lumps...they got me twitchin'!
Agent Tango: As long as it *stops* with twitchin' !! I don't wanna find out what...comes....next!

Cover up da booty! (part 7)........

2007-05-21T11:54:00.001-07:00

Agent Tango: Hmmm....That towel is about to fall. That booty is too much for it. He needs a beach towel not a bath towel!
Agent Apocalypse: I think the whole package is too much for anything less than a blanket... well, we should see the front before I say that

Agent Tango: Yeah, he might need 2 blankets
Agent Ajax: Just give him my number and a parachute to wrap himself up in and call it a day... Good Lord Je$u$!...I dont think I've ever seen so many curves on a dude....o_O

Agent Tango: Now, now.....I had to edit that. Let's not use his name in vain or horny rapture. This is a family blog after all!
{Agent Tango looks at the picture again, shifts in his chair and mutters, "Have mercy!!"}

Agent Tango: Fine...fine... Rip off your singlette, Hulk-style. But please, keep tha' booty covered!! Arrgghhh!!!!
Agent Apocalypse: He looks like a gymnast who snapped
Agent Ajax: Charlotte called, she wants her web back. How does it all stay so taut...If he sneezes will his muscle snap his spine in half?
Agent Tango: Well, if he sneezes I have a Kleenex handy....Although is is a bit.....used >>Ahem!<<

Agent Tango: What the hell is he doing?! Hanging naked? I can tell the dog is looking down at him thinking: "Woof! Cover up da booty! Woof!!....Fool."
Agent Ajax: I wish I was the dog....I'm in a wistful mood today...
Agent Tango: I bet you would be the only golden retriever who could give golden showers....

Agent Tango: That jockstrap looks a little too tight. Athletes always keep the front covered and "secure" but why not do the same for the booty?
Agent Ajax: Duh, Tango! If they did that, then the gays wouldn't pay any more attention and there would be no direction in his life without men to pine over his sweet, beautiful... See? ....Sheesh

The Assassins Return......

2007-05-20T01:03:00.000-07:00

Agent Tango: Hmmm... We have been away for awhile. Over 4 months since the last post! Unacceptable.... Now we have to "re-build" our audience. Let's begin:

Agent Tango: Ha! Capt. Morgan lives!
Agent Apocalypse: Yummy... err I mean the rum 0_o
Agent Tango: Hmph, I'm a non-drinker......
Agent Ajax: First mate has got some boobs....lol I'm just jealous I'm not that hot (probably)...

Agent Tango: OK. *What* has happened to Carrot Top?!? He used to be one of my favorite comedians. But now....WTF?!? He looks likes red-headed plastic Ken doll that's been pumped up with a bicycle pump!! Dude, you are scaring your audience at this point. Go back to being skinny....with eyebrows!
Agent Apocalypse: Oh give him a break, he just wants to be the red headed version of He-Man... or something
Agent Tango: Yeah....something.
Agent Ajax: The read-headed version of Chyna... *shudders*

Agent Tango: On a similar note, I agree with the reporter on this guy. His appearance is just a little *too* perfect....in a very gay way....lol.
Agent Ajax: You have to see this dude in action...a little too perfect or not, bitch is a diva and treats the PCD wannabes like pigs going to slaughter...delicious.

The Battle of the Bulge! (Act 5)

2006-12-18T01:32:00.000-08:00

Agent Tango: Hmmm.... tent action. I wonder what was making him so excited?
Agent Euro: Cute underwear.

Agent Tango: Y'know, I bet the more money he gets...the longer his erection becomes. He has a Pinocchio penis!!
Agent Euro: It's fake.....and *I've" seen fake ones before!
Agent Tango: I won't even ask the details about that......

Agent Tango: Morning wood. I don't know if I like that spider tattoo on his side though.

Agent Tango: You should *always* take the undies off when you shower.... or *was he* showering??
Agent Euro: That's baby oil.

Agent Tango: I think something exploded in his underwear. >>ahem!!<<
Agent Euro: I like the underwear. I wonder how much they are.....

Cover up da booty! (part 6)........

2006-12-11T05:39:00.000-08:00

Agent Tango: Hmmm... Improper coverage! Looks as though someone gave him a wedgie! (or perhaps he likes to wear his underwear that way)

Agent Tango: Duuude... cover up da booty! The surf may be up but the trunks are down.

Agent Tango: "Mirror, mirror on the wall: Whose pale booty scares them all?"

Agent Tango: Call the construction company. I see a crack in the pool!

Agent Tango: OMG! I would name this one "The Battle of Da Booty!"

Agent Tango: Got milk? ....on booty?

Eye Candy (Series 2)

2006-11-27T19:36:00.000-08:00

Agent Tango: Hrmph...."Nick" has nice abs. I'd better hit the gym more. I'm getting "ab-envy"
Agent Ajax: You could have the best abs in the world and you'd still be envious of the next beanpole with a washboard stomach, Tango. Give me some real lookin men! ;)

Agent Tango: What the heck is going on with his shorts? He might as well wear a thong and get it over with....
Agent Ajax: you know you would do the same thing if you had abs like that ;)
Agent Tango: No. I'd just wear the thong ;-)

Agent Tango: Muscley......but dude, lose the "scarf"!
Agent Ajax: Tré internacionál....

Agent Tango: LOL....the "censored" version is here. Follow the link to see a "lower" view featuring his "shmekel".....actually, at first glance that is obviously the wrong term ;-)
Agent Ajax: I have a hankering to go swimming in November all of a sudden...no shrinkage though please...

Agent Tango: Pull up those shorts....keep the booty covered!
Agent Ajax: BOOTY FO EVAH!!!! REVOLT!!!
Agent Tango: And so ends another bootabulous post.....

Stuff in the crosshairs......

2006-11-26T22:00:00.000-08:00

Agent Tango: LOL..... Nicky Hilton and crew.. So here they are at one of those cliche "artsy" photoshoots. Yyou know the type... the sexy pictures that "tease" the imagination...
Hmmm no need for imagination! Look at what the paparazzi saw! (snicker) (Thanks Oh La LA!)
Agent Ajax: I don't know if I would call it art per se, but I would definitely go to an exhibition.

Agent Tango: The expression on Peter Wentz's face is great (I bet he'd do it :-P).. Look fast (before they pull the clip!!)

Agent Tango: Alas poor K-Fed....we knew him well...
Agent Ajax: Get the hell on and get a real job at the DQ like you are destined...he should just give it up and do gay porn already.
Agent Tango: Wow. Someone is on fire....calm down He'll be serving your Whopper Jr soon enough....

Shocking! :

"The Dicks of Hazzard:
Bo and Luke Dick successfully route Boss Cock and his cronies with the help of Daisy
Dick and Uncle Jizzy."

Agent Tango: You have *got* to be kidding. Is there no shame...
Agent Ajax: The remake was crap... this will go in the crapper too, but in a different way...i think i just made myself ill.
Agent Tango: LOL ....first it will go into the tissue....*then* the crapper

The Battle of the Bulge! (Act 4)

2006-11-21T21:03:00.000-08:00

Agent Tango: Hmmm...Some tent action going on here. He's definitely hangin (or pointing) to the right. I wonder what he is thinking about?
Agent Apocalypse: Isn't it obvious? He's thinking about me!! Heh, he has my vote
Agent Tango: {rolls eyes}

Agent Tango: Tent action plus a lil "peek-a-boo"...... I can't tell what direction his rifle is pointing at though.....
Agent Apocalypse: It almost seems like a crazy curve down in those tight whites

Agent Tango: Definitely to the right....and it looks like he's ready to catch a breeze or two......to "cool things down"
Agent Apocalypse: That's the strongest package I've seen awhile! It obviously doesn't like to be bound.

Agent Tango: To the left....big time. The pose is a bit cheesy though....
Agent Apocalypse: I'd change his shorts... or take'em off... yeah that'd be better
Agent Tango: Why are you licking your lips Agent Apocalypse?

Cover up da booty! (part 5)........

2006-11-21T11:10:00.000-08:00

Agent Tango: That has to be a little bit uncomfortable.... I bet he'll end up with some "rust stains" lol..... Cover it up!

Agent Tango: He exudes confidence....in a thong! Oh my, is that a knife or a "shiv" in his hand?!?..... What is he gonna do while wearing his thong? Attack someone?. Somebody call the cops....and cover up da booty!
Agent Apocalypse: Why is he wearing a belt? It's not like he needs it to hold his thong up O_o

Agent Tango: He does NOT need a tan! Cover it up! Cover it up!
Agent Apocalypse: Well we could always build a sand castle on top of him
Agent Tango: Kinky.....

Agent Tango: Not a lot of booty on this dude. Why is he pulling his shorts down? Dude, pull those shorts back up! ....and wash those hands!
Agent Apocalypse: Yeah he needs a booty lift. If yer gonna show the merchandise move yer hands outta the way

Agent Tango: Dimples! Hmmm... he might be uncomfortable on that hard-wood floor.
Agent Apocalypse: Sorry all I can do is stare and drool
Agent Tango: Hey!! No drooling! I'm trying to keep this place clean!...

Morning Workout (Lesson 2)

2006-11-18T21:12:00.000-08:00

Stretch.....

Practice balance.....

Spin...Twirl...Spin...

The Battle of the Bulge! (Act 3)

2006-10-10T17:17:00.000-07:00

Agent Tango: Straight down.
Agent Ajax: It looks like someone Photoshopped his leg hair...awkward.
Agent Tango: You have issues with perfection. Is this why you never look me in the eye??

Agent Tango: Straight down and slightly to the right. White seems to be a popular color.
Agent Ajax: I hate those kinds of underwear...looks like a bra for a package...
Agent Tango: *You* can use padding y'know :-)

Agent Tango: Hopefully that button won't pop. Hmmm....It looks like some Nair/depilatory is needed.
Agent Ajax: Don't Nair! Au naturel is grandtastic...and let's hope the button pops sometime soon...before I do....GASP! Like that's a big shock...It's a blog about skanky pics and I made a popping joke....get over it cooters! ^>^

Agent Tango: Big stretch! Down and to the right.
Agent Ajax: It's always impressive to see veins where you never thought possible.

Agent Tango: Up and to the right. There seems to be enough material but just barely!
Agent Ajax: Me thinks I've got island fever that only the juice from a teal banana can cure! O.o
Agent Tango: ...calm down.

Agent Tango: Wow. Looks like there is some "princely" excitement going on here. I wonder what he's waving at? BTW: down and to the royal right!
Agent Ajax: Damn! ...the prince is a king among men! Yay for the royal jewels!

Agent Tango: Good abs. Down and to the right.
Agent Ajax: Back and to the left...I mean pointing at my career, i mean.....fark.
Agent Tango: This blog is a happy place..... save your personal "shortcummings" for your own blog!

Agent Tango: The battle of the bulge is lost! I suspect there is some padding though. Hmmmm.....
Agent Ajax: Those shades and that body are hot, but that bulge is beyond ridiculous...there's gotta be somethin in there that's not flesh or a vaccum unit strapped to his back that is going around to the goochage to the unit. Regardless: DISQUALIFIED!
Agent Tango: Yes. Quite Ri*dick*ulous!

Random stuff.....

2006-10-05T20:35:00.000-07:00

Agent Tango: Hmmm..... Agent Ajax, I found this clip just for you.... ;-) (Agent Euro, this is boring for you i'm sure....)
Agent Ajax: HAH! *That* is laughs...Blair is such a dyke...on the off chance that the internet bites me in the ass and this gets back to you...love you boo! Love your work!....>.>

Agent Tango: Whip it good! Hmmmm....another case of a naked dude in the kitchen. Ick!
Agent Ajax: I love the built in euphemism in these sorts of pics...like: "Dude beats eggs" or "Pizza in my ass"....not really, but I'd beat those eggs any day....*whimper*

Agent Tango: OK. I gotta admit. It's a cool video (and cool song)
Agent Ajax: meh.

Agent Tango: The glitz! The glamour! Ooops! See you next Fall honey! (lol)
Agent Ajax: How embarrassing...I hope Karl Lagerfeld doesn't slice the poor girl with his rapier wit and sassy hispanic lady fan. The other girl fell twice...how sad...I think she will be sold to the glue factory.

Agent Tango: He flips! He twirls! He jumps. He's French!
Agent Ajax: I think ive seen this dude before except i saw him run so far up a wall then backflip off of it...it was amazing...truly talented.

Agent Tango: I think you are remembering a scene from your last sex party!

Agent Tango: I always keep my shirt on......even during sex...
Agent Ajax: Baby oil?! jesusyespleasewithsugarontopithinkimgoingtovomitoutofnervousness

Scenes from a club (II) ... mega edition

2006-09-16T08:37:00.000-07:00

Agent Tango: Must be Miami. Look at the tans.
Agent Ajax: Anywhere is Miami if you've got 30 minutes and know a good spray on place.
Agent Orange: I think it's a nudist house.

Agent Tango: Such attitude.
Agent Ajax: Aww c'mon Tango. He's young and just tryin' to fit the mold of what's hot nowadays. You know he's hot anyway.
Agent Tango: Bleh....
Agent Orange: The boy needs a cheeseburger!

Agent Tango: One word: fierce! Look at that facial expression: fierce! Look at those eyebrows: fierce! Look at that pose and the bullets around his chest: fierce! Possibly a homicidal homo....nice bod though.
Agent Ajax: Facial expression: I never want to see anyone look at me like that....ever. It's Dahmer-esque. Eyebrows: They are ok. Bullets: I want to steal them. Bod: Cute, but i like the bod on the guy behind him with the green belt better.
Agent Orange: He is so young he doesn't even have pubes.

Agent Tango: One word: scary!
Agent Ajax: Haha! Kathy Griffin as portrayed by Brooke Shield's eastern European cousin accompanied by Alexis Arquette as portrayed by Bridgette Nielson! I love you!
Agent Orange: "Hi pretty.."
Agent Tango: You need help Agent Orange....

Agent Tango: Attitude meets hair. Cute couple. Y'know...I should make a blog entry on hairstyles from clubs. What do you think?
Agent Ajax: I think some one needs a damned sandwich.
Agent Tango: Hmmm....the skinnyness works for them.
Agent Orange: The one on the right looks like a boy version of Grace Jones.
Agent Tango: No he doesn't! Adjust your contacts!

Agent Tango: Hmmmm....looks like UPS needs to deliver a package to the one in the black shorts.
Agent Ajax: Don't judge, Tango. He could be a grower and not a shower...let's hope for his sake. These boys are fuckin hot. Oy! What the hell is this girl doing in here breaking it all up?! Not to say that she isn't cute, it's just not the right time. I'm sorry- it's not you its me.
Agent Tango: LOL...*Yes*....it is.
Agent Orange: I'd towel off the one in the jeans.
Agent Tango: You would towel all of them off.......

Agent Tango: Well at least he can dance... but look at all of the 1-dollar bills! I've written about this travesty before....
Agent Ajax: I'm sure that the rush they are getting makes up for what they don't make out of not getting fivers. You gotta work in the Boom-Boom Room to make the big bucks.
Agent Tango: ...and you know this how?
Agent Orange: This is an example of why you should never put money in your mouth!

Agent Tango: Speaking of dancing....wow! In check pants! He's a brotha' like no otha' !!! Watch out!
Agent Ajax: Straight out of a Black-eyed Peas video even!
Agent Orange: I don't think he is dancing, I think he is having a seizure and needs medical attention quick!

Agent Tango: He's still working it....
Agent Ajax: I don't know how i feel about those boots. He needs some sort of cuff or leather to balance him out... or that undereye black stuff.
Agent Orange: Well, I always wear boots with my torn underwear.

Agent Tango: *What* is going on here?! I see a sock and what appears to be some dude behind him. I suspect there is some "action in tha' back section" going on.....
Agent Ajax: HAHAHAHA- This is the stuff I'm talking about *exactly* for the last hottie. As for whats going on here... who the f*ck knows. Girl is getting down. Get it done.
Agent Tango: Get what done?! Get *what* done?!?
{Agent Tango shifts in his seat.}
Agent Orange: I think I can guess what is getting done, but what is the sock for??
Agent Tango: Modesty??

Agent Tango: OMG. Look at that tuft of "blonde" hair coming out of the pants of the dude on the right! What does that mean?!
Agent Ajax: Good ol' steroids. I guess the look of the evening is gender transcendant with a touch of Rapunzel.
Agent Orange: Rapunzel needs to do some manscaping!

Agent Tango: Action Gurl! She needs to team up with the dude in the check pants! *THAT* would be a super team. The could fight club crimes at night and be mild-mannered Mormon missionaries (or Photobucket image editors) by day!
Agent Ajax: She just got an invite to the sandwich social! Jesus H. Christ... eat something!
Agent Tango: Oh calm down. She's not Nicole Richie.
Agent Orange: Yeah, she needs to go with that skinny boy from 2nd photo above and EAT!

Agent Tango: Tsk..tsk....just go to a club and endulge yourself in tacky ho-ish behavior. Can it get any worse??
Agent Ajax: If you were gay and 18-21, I wouldnt put it too far past you either, Tango ; )
Agent Tango: OK, so I'm 22...big woop! ;-)
Agent Orange: This dancer is suffering from the same condition the boy in the torn black shorts has. Where is it?? I think that is why the girl in the striped shirt is laughing so hard. But he is very "bendy".

Agent Tango: I guess it can. Shameful!! (but I wonder how he tasted....)
Agent Ajax: He probably tasted like Christmas. SPRING BREAK! WOOOOOO!!
Agent Orange: I love and ab-sicle.

Agent Tango: Wow....so *that* was under the black shorts? At least with all those dollars he now has a package. I'll cancel that UPS call.
Agent Ajax: Just have the UPS shipping request arranged for a call tag to pick up in L.A and delivered to the Bay area.
Agent Orange: Gotta love a gold lamé stringed panty.

Agent Tango: A lounge lizard if I ever saw one. But what is up with that belt?!? My gosh....even the WWE champion doesn't carry one that large!
Agent Ajax: Jessica Simpson called, she wants her belt back. Oh- and Paris called to say that she can pull of reckless disregard and make it look good, so quit it....who am i kidding?...I want a big belt. Hah!
Agent Orange: He is so thin. I'm sure that belt wouldn't fit around a WWE champs arms.
Agent Tango: What is with you and Agent Ajax's anti-skinnyness remarks? I think you two are envious......

Agent Tango: Oooofah! Someone is sweating somewhere that i don't wanna know about! Yikes!
Agent Ajax: lol. Look closer....somebody's hand is ALL wet....did you say scenes from a club or scenes from a bath house?
Agent Orange: Nothing like a pair of sweaty balls.

Agent Tango: More ho-ish club behavior BUT at least this girl knows how to do it right. Notice the FIVE dollar bill she has. Obviously this chick knows how to properly please a gay dancer.... unlike his queer male lust puppies who insist on busting out the George notes!
Agent Ajax: God bless that girl....and that ass.
Agent Orange: I just don't know what I think about this.... much less what to say.
Agent Tango: This is a blog y'know.....

Agent Tango: Oh no! I think something criminal is going on here!! I suspect they might be doing something "heinous to the anus"! This club is wild. Does it get any worse??
Agent Ajax: At least he's wearing D&G....maybe they're getting out the drugs they smuggled into the club in the booty? All you need is a willing bottom and its like you got another wallet... *shudders*
Agent Tango: Hmmm...a "willing bottom"? Is that code or slang? ;-) ....and by the way, he's not wearing D&G....one of his "gropers" is wearing D&G
Agent Orange: Is that a club or a clip from Tango's movie collection?
Agent Tango: Shhhhhh!!!!

Agent Tango: Good grief!! The same club. OK. I have seen enough. This is the last image of this entry. At first I was wondering what was keeping the money up but upon closer inspection....I see there is either a a thin piece of tape around his waist or a transparent piece of plastic. You can see the full-sized image here. This is the ultimate scene of ho-ishness!! I'm off to go jog!
Agent Ajax: I think it's similar to how hot dogs are stuck clear to the side of the package until you open it... that same phenomenon. Overall thoughts- cute boys, ugly shoes and people need to embrace eating before they die. ^>^
Agent Orange: Again, another example of why you should NEVER put money in your mouth!

Cover up da booty! (part 4)........

2006-09-09T08:45:00.000-07:00

Agent Tango: Hmmmm....crack is bad for you? Nice dimples though...lol
Agent Ajax: The kind of crack I would adore being addicted to. I need a hit.

Agent Tango: Victorious booty!
Agent Ajax: Somehow, I think the impact that this guy wants to make with this picture is hindered by the presence of the sneakers and the Guido chain. I'm not trying to say he doesn't have a nice body though : D
Agent Tango: You are harsh!

Agent Tango: Just in case there is sand in the booty....this could be one way to get it out!
Agent Ajax: I dont even know what the hell is going on anymore. (goes to fridge and eats EZ-Cheeze)
Agent Tango: Go with the flow baby....go with the flow.....

Agent Tango: Booty buddies...Hmmm....interesting musculature. I wonder what exercises they do? >>snicker<<
Agent Ajax: They're all curvy...they look like boobs smushed together in an evening gown sans nipples....and sans evening gown.

Agent Tango: I'm pretty sure I know what he is in position for......
Agent Ajax: FINALLY! the promised land...I think i have that same belt, and that same ass. Oh wait no, i was just being delusional again. (more hopelessness... bringing on said EZ-Cheez)

Agent Tango: Another sad case of ass anemia......
Agent Ajax: Eww. I thought the point of the blog was to bring in readers, not send them cringing.
Agent Tango: True. I will do a better job of screening in the future.

Agent Tango: Peek-A-Booty!
Agent Ajax: I think my heart stopped.

Agent Tango: What?!?! In a crowded stadium?? He has no shame! Cover it up! Cover it up!!
Agent Ajax: HOW THE HELL?!?....i say photoshopped, or gay games. either one.

Agent Tango: What is *he* doing? Mooning a dog?? That dog needs to *bite* his booty and not let go! That will teach him!
Agent Ajax: Cute doggy! That man has facial features similar to Madonna, but unfortunately for him, Maddona would be my 1st pick. something about a man that likes to get naked while holding his dog near him with what looks to be a riding crop strikes me as a signal. A subtle bad one.

Agent Tango: Hey dude! Cover up da booty (but tan it first!) !
Agent Ajax: NAKED Y UNTANNED BOOTY POR VIDA!!!! VIVA LA REVOLUCION!!!!

Agent Tango: Ice cold booty. See what happens when you run out in the snow with your clothes hanging low? You trip and fall!....And where are his undies?! Cover up da booty!
Agent Ajax: Eegh!- his booty should be the least of his troubles in regards to what gets too cold! Do butts shrink like other parts of the body when it gets cold? It looks so petit! ^>^
Agent Tango: My tush *always* maintains proper form and ...ummm...plumpness. It never shrinks!!

Morning Workout (Lesson 1)

2006-09-09T06:35:00.000-07:00

Sit-ups.........

Run.....

Swim......

Stretch......

Lift weights!!!

I see jail cells!!

2006-09-08T18:48:00.000-07:00

Agent Tango: Tsk...tsk.....Mel, Paris, and even the little robot boy. What is the world coming to??

Flesh For Fans To See.....

2006-09-08T18:07:00.000-07:00

Agent Tango: Hmmm....I guess he was "too sexy" for his shirt. What's with that pose? Is something going on in those pants? Or is he thinking of a bowl of Cocoa Puffs?

Agent Tango: Wow!......I bet he could crack a walnut between those pecs!

Agent Tango: Don't get distracted! Watch out for his....jab!

Eye Candy (Series 1)

2006-08-23T21:07:00.000-07:00

Agent Tango: Hmmm....A litlle "peek-a-boo" action going on here. At least he's wearing underwear.

Agent Tango: Good photography.

Agent Tango: Time for the ruff-stuff...German-style! I wonder what happens next?!

Agent Tango: Maybe this guy comes in....and gets rougher!

Agent Tango: ...and then things get *really* rough! Dang! There are enough six-packs in this picture for a SuperBowl party! I wonder what kinds of workouts these guys do? If anyone knows please tell me.

Agent Tango: Wicked pecs on this guy.

Agent Tango: ...same guy....he must workout with the guys from above.

Agent Tango: Agent Ajax, what do you mean you are thirsty?!

Agent Tango: Hmmm...groomed pits.

What are you looking at?!?

2006-08-18T03:50:00.000-07:00

Good movie (tragic/sad). Check it out on DVD:
Mysterious Skin

In fact, go get all of his movies.
Fan sites here and here and a good review of Mysterious Skin is here (bottom of page).

Since J.G.L. is such a good actor (and kinda cool) we won't pick on him *but* we gotta know.... Was there any tongue? :

:-P~

The Battle of the Bulge! (Act 2)

2006-08-18T01:58:00.000-07:00

Agent Tango: Definitely hanging to the left. The brand of undies seem cool (also the model..ugly feet though). I may buy a pair.
Agent Orange: Well you can see which side he dresses to.
Agent Tango: I have no idea what that means....

Agent Tango: Another "leftie". Posing with attitude. I predict a future queen. LOL
Agent Orange: Yes.

Agent Tango: Hmmm...right, right, and....unknown. The one on the far right may be straight up or...hanging to the right? What do you think?
Agent Orange: Kinda yummy...nice white undies
Agent Tango: Hmmm...

Agent Tango: Yikes! Tent city!! I wonder what he is thinking of? Perhaps he's imagining a sex-filled a night with Agent LaWhore...or worse: a night with Agent Ajax!
Agent Orange: I want to climb on it
Agent Tango: You mean "into" the tent?
Agent Orange: ...into onto...which ever

Agent Tango: Hanging to the right.....big time! ;-)

Agent Tango: !!! Is that a MagLite in his utility belt?
Agent Orange: Ouch
Agent Tango: Did that come from a thought you are having?
Agent Orange: Yes
Agent Tango: Oh my.....

Agent Tango: Ya gotta luv stretchy fabric! :-P

Cover up da booty! (part 3)........

2006-08-11T08:53:00.000-07:00

Agent Tango: Hmmmm....yes, I know he *is* covering it but the fit and form of the undies is....interesting.

Agent Tango: Booty on tha rocks!

Agent Tango: Booty on tha beach!

Agent Tango: Booty by the bus!!

Agent Tango: Big booty. What is he serving? What kind of party is this?? Are the barbacks bare-butted!? (Is butted a word?)

Agent Tango: Hmmm...he is nude at the beach but he still has a tan-line. He looks European. Maybe he is Greek. Cover up that booty!

Agent Tango: I don't see a booty on this poor dude...and he draws attention to his ass-anemia with crazy undies. Tsk...tsk....

Random stuff....

2006-08-06T07:24:00.000-07:00

Agent Tango: Can pink be any gayer?
Agent Ajax: Only if Bob Mackie designed a matching water bottle hip holster to go with the ensemble.

Agent Tango: More pink! And with a purse! Look at the writing on the purse. Oy vey! Tres gay!....
Agent Ajax: Pop (or gay) will eat itself.

Agent Tango: OK, this is a pic that we didn't use for the last Muscle Control entry. It is of the same guy in "C". Both show off his painful flexibility equally. He is amazing. Hey! Agent Q! I see you looking at his bulge!.....

Agent Tango: Somehow I don't think he'll be able to properly bathe in that water.........
Agent Ajax: Who the hell needs to bathe when you're that frickin hot? Stank or not, that fool will get some play regardless. I personally like my men sans stank though.

Pose, pose, and pose again!.....

2006-08-02T08:08:00.000-07:00

Look here for more (great site!)

Muscle Control (Part 3)....

2006-08-02T08:00:00.000-07:00

A. Limber....
B. More limber ......
C. Ouch !!

A-ha! Lance loves Justin !

2006-07-27T04:21:00.000-07:00

Agent Tango: I knew it! I just wonder how Lance Bass fixed this game of "spin the bottle" to win? I bet he slipped a magnet in the bottle when no one was looking!
Wow!.....look at the frizzy "fro" that Justin Timberlake had back then. LOL!
(Thanks to the Defamer for the link that lead to the source) I'm sure Justin is thinking, "Aw man! I better cover up my booty tonight! Lance is an animal!" BTW: You know Lance must have initiated this game. The odds are in his favor! There are 5 guys and 1 girl (Britney). A-ha!.........

We miss Pierce!!

2006-07-27T04:04:00.000-07:00

Agent Tango: Yeah, yeah..... I know we should all give the new James Bond (Daniel Craig) a fair shot .... but there is something about the previous one (Pierce Brosnan) that made James Bond seem kinda.."fun".

George Michael : Bushman!

2006-07-25T06:59:00.000-07:00

Agent Tango: You have got to be kidding. In the bushes with that guy???
Yikes!! LOL.....I love how the article describes him as "pot-bellied"...lol......how awful.

"....Minutes earlier the one-time heart-throb had been lurking in the shadows at the notorious homosexual pick-up spot on Hampstead Heath....."

Agent Tango: I wonder what he saw in him?.....Perhaps it was his sexy legs?.....

Agent Tango: I can only imagine the queeny nastiness he was shouting back at the photographer...lol.
Agent Ajax: Georgie Porgie and Bushman Guy, you made me sick and I want to die...after having that mental image branded into my psyche. Poor Mr. Michael...well, you do know the old addage right? The one that says you can't teach an old british dog new tricks, but he sticks to his old ones just fine? O_o I seriously think im going to be ill...its like i took the concorde from La Guardia to Heathrow and made a stopover in gay Hell...with no midflight showing of Heathers!!?!?! *panic attack*

Yu Gi Oh Lives!!

2006-07-25T06:56:00.000-07:00

Agent Tango: I should try this hairstyle for at least one week.....
Agent Ajax: sonic meets party monster...loves it ^>^

Stretch...Strip...Pose

2006-07-24T08:15:00.000-07:00

The Battle of the Bulge! (Act 1)

2006-07-16T07:13:00.000-07:00

Agent Tango: They need padding...but I can tell they are both hanging to the right.
Agent LaWhore: Yes. Are they identical twins?

Agent Tango: Hmmm...Is he hanging to the left....or to the right?
Agent Q: Hmmmm.....I don't know what I like more his hair or his underwear.

Agent Tango: What about this guy?
Agent LaWhore: I always wonder why they don't wear jock straps.

Agent Tango: Outrageous!......

Agent Tango: Definitely to the right! He's cocked and ready.
Agent LaWhore: I just bought the same underwear but for some reason it looks different....
Agent Tango: Did you really buy the underwear?
Agent LaWhore: Yes not the same color, though.
Agent Tango: Do you fill them out the same....or...do you use....*padding*?
Agent LaWhore: Bitch.

Agent Tango: I can't tell!
Agent LaWhore: But his mouth is ready to the left.

Morning stretches.....

2006-07-13T06:01:00.000-07:00

Malcolm in the.....

2006-07-13T05:57:00.000-07:00

Agent Tango: I wonder if this is an old pic. Didn't he get married recently? Hmmmmm.....

Sweat It Like Damon.......

2006-07-13T05:51:00.000-07:00

Agent Tango: (also see....)

Lindsay "Low Hand That Cups" Lohan......

2006-07-13T05:44:00.000-07:00

Agent Tango: Wow! She is no better than Paris!......oh, wait...

Agent Tango: Ah, OK. I see it wasn't as bad as I thought.

Cover up da booty! (part 2) .........

2006-07-04T11:50:00.000-07:00

Agent Tango: Hmmmm....interesting tan line.

Agent Tango: OK. It's covered but.....it's kinda like it's not. Very *form fitting*.
Agent Q: HMMM. I wonder if it is tight on him.

Oh no! It's Hard Gay! ....

2006-07-04T09:44:00.000-07:00

Agent Tango: Japanese television is very strange.

Agent Tango: He is actually pretty funny.

Agent Tango: Hooooooo!

Flame On! ....

2006-07-04T09:40:00.000-07:00

Agent Tango: Christiano Ronaldo. World famous soccer player from Portugal.
Agent Tango: For some reason he reminds me of the Human Torch......

Have you driven around in your undies today?....

2006-07-01T11:58:00.000-07:00

Agent Tango: Hmmm....Where do they keep their driver's license?
(Les Ombres is a hot site! Thanks for the link JN!)

Muscle Control (part 2).....

2006-07-01T11:00:00.000-07:00

A. Stamina
B. Flexibility
C. Rigidity
D. Never misses a drop

Scenes from a club (I)..

2006-06-30T07:57:00.000-07:00

Agent Tango: Rip-away-crotch jeans. Hmmm...I'm sure Diesel will market them soon.

Agent Tango: I wonder what was in the basket?

Agent Tango: I am at a loss for words.......

Agent Tango: Hmmm.....Was he high? Drunk? Or could that be his normal look?? (I hope not) I'm sure he would be a perfect friend for:

Agent Tango: *WHAT* is going on in this bathroom?? What is this freak doing? Offering his booty before customers can wash their hands?! Tsk...tsk.....

Agent Tango: Football shoulder pads?!? Kinky....I guess...

Agent Tango: Cute couple. Hunter has cool friends.

Putin may have to move to Dubai.....

2006-06-29T07:33:00.000-07:00

Agent Tango: Shocking!

Puke It like Beckham.......

2006-06-29T07:27:00.000-07:00

Agent Tango: Hmmm.....I wonder what made him so sick? Perhaps it was:

Look at the fishie!

2006-06-22T19:39:00.001-07:00

Agent Tango: Phelps is cool and all but I think he kinda looks like a Dolphin in this outfit.
Agent Ajax: Yeah...he does...but aren’t dolphin’s fins usually bigger than that and on the opposite side?
Agent Tango: What is that boy in the background looking at?

Agent Tango: Wow! What the he-- is going on here?! Why is that other dude covering his eye?
Agent Ajax: Penalty on yellow- unnecessary nudity and possible eye injury. RED CARD!!!!! *crowd goes wild*
Agent Tango: Even in soccer they should be wearing a jock or a thong or *something*! Talk about free-balling!

Agent Tango: What's with dudes being naked or in undies on kitchen counters?? Booty and balls where I make my meals!? No way! >>cough!<<
Agent Ajax: Little Caesar is too little for my tastes...better go with Pizza Butt...errr...I mean Hut

The Dangers of Stripping In A Gay Parade....

2006-06-19T17:52:00.000-07:00

Agent Tango: There must be something about being on a float in a gay parade.....

Agent Tango: This may not be such a good idea.....

Agent Tango: Oh no! Now the ass-play starts! He should have known better.

Agent Tango: Now he's *excited*.

Agent Q: Was this a Gay Pride parade or a parade for Emperor Ho?

For a fist full of dollars……

2006-06-11T17:29:00.000-07:00

Agent Tango: OK, I just don’t get the whole dollar-bill thing.
Agent Tango: Why is it always dollars?! If I ever decided to wiggle my ass onstage I would expect more.

Agent Tango: Must be something about gay guys and their “go-go boy budget”. How does one earn a 5 or a 20?
Agent Tango: I mean after all, most strippers get 20s.

Agent Tango: If you were in a str8 strip club waving a $1 bill you’d get tossed out or mocked.

Agent Tango: Well at least here’s one who earned a $20 bill. Unless it was just “seed” money to encourage others. He’d better watch it. Someone might snatch it out and replace it with a 1.

Agent Tango: Yikes! “Booty Bank” is right! Some horny fiend went *deep* for this one. I’m surprised the boy is still moving around up there. Ick! And it’s a $1 bill! Cheap B@stards! I can not imagine having someone yank my thong (not that I wear one) to the side and fingering a dollar bill up my booty. Tsk…tsk……

Agent Tango: I bet if there were a .50 bill, you’d see all these horny guys waving them.

Agent Tango: Someone is reaching for the gold. Those fingers look like they are fishing around in there hoping to catch the magic “C-bass”. Again all I see are dollars.

Agent Tango: Look at this!! OMG. Again with a dollar! Run for the hills if he’s commin’ at ya!
Agent Tango: (shakes his head)...horrid....horrid!

MOM SAYS HI !

2006-06-09T22:34:00.000-07:00

Agent Euro: It's not really my mom..... it's my brother!
Agent Tango: Hmmm... are you two twins?

Shoes make the man.......

2006-06-09T22:13:00.000-07:00

Agent Tango: I like the shoes.
Agent Euro: Who's that?
Agent Tango: ...
Agent Euro: ok..Is he getting naked?
Agent Tango: He is an Armani model
Agent Euro: Whatever they pay him ... i'll double!

Cover up da booty!.....

2006-06-06T22:33:00.000-07:00

Agent Tango: Hmmm...OK, just barely covered...but damn, look at how tight that has to fit. Is *that* comfortable? (who would wear this)?!

Agent Tango: No, not quite....

Agent Tango: Either he bought the wrong size....or maybe it shrank after being washed in hot water?...or.....his butt is just big!

Agent Tango: Wear this and you would probably always have to stay shaved...or maybe not?

Cheeky......

2006-06-06T22:18:00.000-07:00

Agent Tango: Yikes! I bet he can crack a walnut with his muscley buttcheeks!

Muscle Control (part 1)

2006-06-05T21:52:00.000-07:00

A. Strength...
B. Balance...
C. Strength and Balance....
D. Most popular man at any gay party.....

LOL....Good "Story"....

2006-06-04T22:19:00.000-07:00

Agent Tango: OK.....Boyband called "US 5"

....traveling Europe....big in Germany...

.....practically unheard of here in the U.S. ...

.. girls go crazy, etc...etc...

Then one day....ooops! :

Who is this getting head in a men's room.....from a guy!?!

Uh-oh! Time for a cover story! Ummmmm....
(LOL....I love the German caption: "Toiletten Blowjob")

What's that? He was "sick" that night and puking in a toilet?...and he had one of his friends in there "helping" him?.....Oh...OK. :-P

His die hard fans know he is as clean and straight as fresh snow:

We'll start here......

2006-06-03T22:12:00.000-07:00

Agent Tango: Hmmmm..... I guess people just can't get enough. I thought they were enemies now? Or just 'frienemies'.....? Who knows?

Agent Tango: Nice. I think I want a pair. But I wonder if there is room for the iPod and my XXL condoms?...