Stuff in the crosshairs.....

Agent Tango: So the "obscenity" case was dropped. CBS is breathing a bigger sigh of relief than Janet's boob did that night.
Agent Sagittarius: The hopes and dreams of future "wardrobe malfunctions" will live on for teenage boys across the US.
Agent Tango: What about teenage girls?


Agent Tango: LOL. So one of the finalists in the HGTV "Design Star" contest...a policeman!... turns out to have a "secret" gay past involving a bondage flic. And not even a "mild" one....a hardcore ropes, flails, leg-iron, bent over the table bondage flic! Damn! LOL..... Who did you think you could fool??! LOL. Interviews take on a whole new light when you know details:

"What is your most unusual talent?
A lot of people don't realize, I speak Spanish."

Uh-hunh: "Si papi! Siiiiiiiiiiiii!"

More details on this story here and here.

Agent Sagittarius: What the report neglects to tell you is that he decorated the set himself. Even pornos need a set decorator.



Agent Tango: What does this look convey?
Agent Sagittarius: Feed me.
Agent Tango: I'm sure he's....well fed.


Agent Tango: A pit-sniffer! This will only lead to licking.

Nicely Ab-ed (2) :

Agent Tango: LOL...oiled and "bronzed" but nice abs. Hmmm...he has nipple bars. Kink alert!
Agent Sagittarius: Who photoshopped my face off this??!?


Agent Tango: Actually this guy looks more like you Agent Sagittarius
Agent Sagittarius: Why would I advertise undewear that obviously doesn't fit??

The Battle of the Bulge! (Act 10)

Agent Tango: The strings are hanging out..but what the hel* are they for?? Hmmm, I'm assuming they are part of his "swimming trunks"....or more appropriately called "junk trunks" (cause that's all the cover).....lol... Anyway, aside from the insane abs you can tell this guy is hanging straight down: battle of the bulge is lost.
Agent Sagittarius: So the abs HAVE to be airbrushed. The strings are a makeshift c-ring. Seems to not work as well though. I have a similar pair. I call them my marble sack.
Agent Tango: You always think a pic of nice abs is airbrushed. Jealous? And that "marble sack" of yours only sports two marbles... and they are NOT shooters.



Agent Tango: Not even a jockstrap?? Here is a warning: You opponent's first move might involve a knee! Battle (and match) lost: Up and to the left.
Agent Sagittarius: Scandinavian Olympic wrestler. "'Alo. My name is Bjorn, and I forgota my cup. Can you help me?"
Agent Tango: "forgota" ?!? You said Scandinavian, NOT Italian!



Agent Tango: Hmmmm......Undies as they should be worn. This battle of the bulge is at a stalemate: down and to the right.
Agent Sagittarius: Doesn't anyone wear them just down anymore? I guess it could be uncomfortable if you're huge and it goes down to your taint or beyond. But if you're gay, you may like it.
Agent Tango: What's a "taint"? >>cough!<<

Stuff in the crosshairs.....

Agent Tango: Well he was kinda dorky but now he is a dorky *LOSER*......


Agent Tango: Paris?!?....Itchy cooch? C'mon, show some *discretion*! (A picture worthy of the cover of GUP ... nice site!)
Agent Needle: Even without signs or symptoms, it is still possible to spread herpes to others



Agent Tango: I know this was awhile back but I couldn't resist. Those legs! Those legs! (lol.... Sorry Trent.... I couldn't resist. Photo via Oh La La!)

Agent Tango: Cole Mohr....new fashion "It Boy"....bleh. Just another "horny devil". What's up with the tatts?? Can't he remember the calendar (hmmm....maybe he really is blond)
{See him speak (!!) here.... David Archuleta I take back my earlier "dorky" comment. Mr Mohr seems to be the new "Dorkus Maximus"}

Happy New Year!

Finally 2008! But where have *all* the agents gone?!? Am I the last one? Dang. I better get some new backup. Oh well, in the meantime...........

Stuff in the crosshairs.....

Agent Tango: LOL…. A disfigured Justin Timberlake? Hmmm…. Now if they also make him a bit psychotic then I’ll go see it..

Links here and here.



Agent Tango: Why would you chew a razor handle? Really……why would you do it?? Admit it Bruce Weber, you just wanted him naked...lol


Agent Tango: I can only imagine what K-Fed is thinking. LOL. You can tell what Paris has on her mind...


Agent Tango: I’m not so sure about this version of the Joker in the upcoming Batman movie...

Agent Tango: I *guess* it could work. Heath Ledger is pretty versatile (**cough**) so we’ll see...

Agent Tango: Hmmm….Cool or gay? :

Agent Tango: More at Toot

The Battle of the Bulge! (Act 9)

Agent Tango: Hey now! The police have entered into the battle. Talk about "copping a feel"! Uh-hunh. Frisk and *grope*, eh, officer McFeely? Tsk…tsk…..
The clip is here .......



Agent Tango: Up and to the left. Always stretch and flex your muscles in the morning...or is it the evening? Oh well, both!


Agent Tango: His smile isn't the only thing that's indicating he's getting happy. Down and to the left a little.....

Agent Tango: Hmmm....doing a push-up can hurt some people. Maybe he just wobbles and rocks at the low point?....kinda like when you balance a skateboard on a softball?

Agent Tango: Hmmm... Looks like he's "pointing" to the right. I hope there's strong elastic at the top of those trunks....

Agent Tango: You know a jock is tight if you can tell if a dude is cut or uncut....

Agent Tango: LOL. Is he checking to see if it's still there?!?

Nicely Ab-ed (1) :

Agent Tango: Hmmm....These guys have......."fur":




Agent Tango: I'm guessing 0.01% body fat on this next guy...

Agent Tango: The small smooth spot on this guy's right ab must be the 3 oz of creatine mix he swallowed just before the pic was taken....



Agent Tango: Nice tan on the last guy. Go to Les Ombres for more!

Stuff in the crosshairs.....

Agent Tango: Finally a flaw! Chad White has ugly feet. It's kinda rare for a guy to actually have nice looking feet but generally male "super models" should have better looking feet. I guess it could be worse. He could have "Chewbaca-feet"!
Agent Ajax: Come now! You act like he isn't human! With the exception of his pinky toe, he has an ok foot. GET IT CHADDY! *drools*



Agent Tango: Heh heh




Agent Tango: OK, Gary Dourdan is one of my favorite actors....heh, I shouldn't comment but a few weeks ago he roughed up the paparazzi. You can see the clips on TMZ here. (Hmmm....who was the dude he was hugging??) Normally it seems like he is pretty cool. I guess they got to him that day....The bad side of all this is now everyone in L.A. knows that if they see a dude with a red helmet on a Ducati..... it's prolly him.

Agent Ajax: Fuck those fools....they deserve what they got. I can't stand paparazzi...they pester celebs to death and then act all confused once they get annoyed that their personal space is constantly challenged.

The Battle of the Bulge! (Act 8)

Agent Tango: Up and to the left. This is a "tight fit"!
Agent Sagittarius: He needs to move up a size



Agent Tango: Straight down + catch-a-breeze action. I hope he's not planning on doing jumping jacks.
Agent Sagittarius: Someone's a little excited

Agent Tango: I am not!

Agent Tango: Hmmm...down and to the right? And what does that shirt say?! "Sac City" indeed....
Agent Sagittarius: What's that white stuff dripping down his shirt?

Agent Tango: Track dust?

Agent Tango: My gosh!.... Is there even a bulge?!? Maybe he dropped a peanut M&M in his trunks!
Agent Sagittarius:He wore an "itsy bitsy, teenie weenie....." Is that they way the song goes?
Agent Tango: Close enough....


Agent Tango: Down and to the right but I can't figure out the "thigh bands"...
Agent Sagittarius: Who cares how they work. They're hot.
Agent Tango: Hmmm....I guess.


Agent Tango: He's doing his laundry and showering at the same times. Points for multi-tasking!
Agent Sagittarius: Dammit, Al Gore got to him. He's doing his part of water conservation.



Agent Tango: Another "pimple boy". Down and to the right (if you use a magnifier)
Agent Sagittarius: Maybe he's a grower not a shower.
Agent Tango: He'll need to grow a lot to make up for his ...."short cummings"


Agent Tango: Now these do not look comfortable...
Agent Sagittarius: Either pull them down or roll the waist down..

Agent Tango: "Roll the waist down"?? I see what you're after....lol

Stuff in the crosshairs.....

Agent Tango: I wonder if I started swinging around a lot if it would improve my physique?
Agent Apocalypse: Well it worked for Tarzan
Agent Tango: I'm not wearing a loincloth.


Agent Tango: Harry Potter mania... blah. Hmmm... Looks like someone is into leather and eye-liner in this pic..... Just what sort of "scene" is he into I wonder... I bet I know (see last week's pic)
Agent Apocalypse: Hey this guy used to live down the hall from me... I always wondered about the screaming animals


Agent Tango: I just don't get this entire "stretch the earlobe" thing...... What would make dudes and chics with ....nice faces..... wild-out their "look" with stretched ears?


Agent Tango: ...and face piercings on top of that. I just don't quite get it.
Agent Apocalypse: Leave the face peircings out of this... I look shekshi with my spikes all over the place.
Agent Tango: Yes, we all know why you have your tongue pierced........


Agent Tango: You think he shaves his chest?
Agent Apocalypse: Probably.


Agent Tango: Chad White....Chad white.... Chad White.... There doesn't seem to be an end to this guy's media "appeal". I guess we are contributing to it. But hey, I'm not some sycophant... It's not like *I'm* some obsessed fan! .......
Agent Apocalypse: Who? *{looks confused}*
Agent Tango: Never mind....


Agent Tango: Hmmm.... He's not wet...but I think now Agent Sagittarius is....
Agent Apocalypse: He's not even in the water.
Agent Apocalypse: That reminds me I was invited to a Luau today
Agent Tango: Oh?
Agent Tango: Will you wear a grass skirt?
Agent Apocalypse: No
Agent Tango: Can't you wear those to a Luau?
Agent Apocalypse: Yes but I'm not going to...
Agent Apocalypse: I'm probably gonna stay home....
Agent Tango: Have you ever?
Agent Apocalypse: Yes
Agent Tango: What was under the grass skirt?
Agent Apocalypse: Shorts.
Agent Tango: Tasteful...
Agent Tango: Did you smoke the skirt afterwards?.....