Stuff in the crosshairs.....

Agent Tango: Lindsay Lohan and her main squeeze Samantha Ronson

Agent Tango: Rachel Maddow (cable news show talk host)


Agent Tango: Hmmmm....Me'thinks they be twins!
Agent LaWhore: There really must be something in the water there on the Isle of Lesbos.
Agent Ajax: Odd coincidence or lesbionic tax dollars at work? You decide.
Agent Tango: There is a lesbian tax?!?

Agent Tango: OK. The story is a couple of months old. You can see it here. It still gets me that this dufus would bathe in the sink...pubes and all! Ick! And his name is Tim Tackett. Very tacky Mr Tackett. But now he is a star (of sorts). Go figure. See an interview of him here. (BTW: Someone fire his stylist)
Agent LaWhore: "My momma always told me the Sunlight detergent was sensitive on hands but tough on grease!"
Agent Ajax: I'll never look at a whopper the same way again...and I don't know how to feel about that : /

Agent Tango: Yeah Michael, I'd be a little pissed too. It appears to be a little too "form fitting" and sheer. We can see that Olympic tatt of yours clearly. I wonder if the back is like this also? LOL...I bet I know who designed this.... Agent Ajax!
Agent LaWhore: "... AND I look better than Robin in this tight suit!"
Agent Ajax: Surely, if I were to make this garment, I would let super twink wear it...that @ss is mine!
Agent Tango: Who is super twink??

Agent Tango: Hmmmm.... The Dark Knight meets Hancock? Are the floors sticky in this theatre? Heh....
Agent LaWhore: "Just sit right back and you'll hear a tale, a tale of a fateful trip.... That started from this tropic port aboard this large BLACK ship!"
Agent Tango: LaWhore, I think you need serious help....along with "a large black ship"
Agent Ajax: You know someone with no life and a limited range of humor staked out this theatre when they heard the release date.
Agent Tango: I *have* a life! OK?!

Agent Tango: Ahh, those eyes speak volumes. You *know* if he loses she's gonna be all "You should've picked me....Loser! (as she sips her wine)."
Agent LaWhore: She's thinking: "If only I could wiggle my nose like Samantha did in Bewitched!"
Agent Ajax: "Bitch stole my fish with a presidency twist."
Agent Tango: You lost me there. I've got to get out more.

Morning Workout (Lesson 7)

Stool balance (keep toes pointed).

Diving board dance.

Pre-dive balance (curl toes + clench buttocks)

Ode d'Animalia (1)......

Dirty squirrel, dirty squirrel
Where do you roam?

Dirty squirrel, dirty squirrel
So far from home.

I see you with your camera
I see you taking pix....

You hide in the trees
Getting your nut fix.


Those beady eyes...
You have no shame.

Those quick feet...
I KNOW your game.


Dirty squirrel, dirty squirrel
You think you're cool

Dirty squirrel, dirty squirrel
I'm no fool!


-Agent Tango

The Battle of the Bulge! (Act 11)

Agent Tango: 3 battles won...one battle lost (big time!): up and to the left. I wonder what blondie is thinking about? His friends? A sale at Target? Hmmmm....
Agent LaWhore: "He wore an itsy bitsy teeny weiner creamy colored short bikini..."

Agent Ajax: Oh my...these have gotten more blatant since i was last here...why is everyone carrying on like nothings wrong with the not so big creme elephant in the room?

Agent Tango: He needs a playmate. Battle lost: up and to the left.
Agent LaWhore: "If I just hold the camera up here, maybe I'll look more butch in my GayRomeo profile photo!"
Agent Ajax: Sign me up, we can play some ball. please?



Agent Tango: Uh-oh. Mr hairy guy needs to buy larger briefs (unless he likes the "lateral drafts"). Battle lost: straight up (and maybe to the left a lil) !
Agent LaWhore: "That's funny, the last doctor just asked me to turn my head and cough"
Agent Ajax: They're air vents! They help keep him cool on those straightaways on his bike...(or thats what he tells himself)

Agent Tango: Lots of orange! Battle lost: to the right.
Agent LaWhore: The poor boy was rejected as a spokesperson/model for TANG.
Agent Ajax: I cry foul on this one...orange is soooooo not a sexy-esque color to me but to each their own. Nice legs though ;)

Scenes from a club (III)

Agent Tango: No beer belly on this guy. He obviously loves giving his pubes some air. Monsieur Le Raunch!
Agent Sagittarius: Just add beer and you've got a party. Cheap date. Easy lay. What's the point in even having underwear?
Agent Tango: Well maybe it's good place to keep the occasional dollar bill or it could be used to get a good "grip" >>ahem!<< ??


Agent Tango: Why do a lot of clubs have black walls?!? Is it to hide the variety of "stains" that will eventually cover them?
Agent Sagittarius: Why am I never invited to these places? Black walls cover up a list of sins, not just in decorating you know?


Agent Tango: Hmmmm... Looks like a candidate for "Cover Up Da Booty". I see some fiend *is* trying to cover it with cash. That booty covering is almost like a fishnet. The catch of the night is... "Halibutt"...
Agent Sagittarius: Auditions for "Buttman and Throbbin: Masked Crusader", where's Boy Wonder?
Agent Tango: In that outfit there isn't much to wonder about.


Agent Tango: Now this brotha is gettin paid! I hope he invests it in a good mutual fund or IRA...
Agent Sagittarius: More incentive for the me to work out. Whose dick do I have to suck to earn money like that?
Agent Tango: Hmmm...Well, isn't your town full of Senators?

Morning Workout (Lesson 6)

Double friend lift.

Seated shoelace tie (with teeth).

Flying barefoot kick (requires friend or enemy).

Cover up da booty! (part 10)........

Agent Tango: My gosh! Airborn booty! Can you imagine what would happen of he lands the wrong way (ie: on his butt). Those cheeks would be scarred for life. Cover up da booty!!
Agent Sagittarius: It could be worse. He could have worn his girlfriend's thong. Now that would be emotionally scarring for life.


Agent Tango: The bed appears to be in order in this cheap hotel room. Obviously there was a male maid who came in, cleaned up the room, made the bed, and yanked down the green trunks for his "tip" (A chic would have woke him up and demanded cash). Hey phool!! Wake up and cover up....da booty!



Agent Tango: Awwwwww....freaky! Freaky! A shoe fetishist! And look at those socks.....good grief. My friend....cover the feet AND da booty!
Agent Sagittarius: You now what they say about a man with a big shoe, right?
Agent Tango: Ummm....they have lots of sole??

Stuff in the crosshairs.....

Agent Tango: So the "obscenity" case was dropped. CBS is breathing a bigger sigh of relief than Janet's boob did that night.
Agent Sagittarius: The hopes and dreams of future "wardrobe malfunctions" will live on for teenage boys across the US.
Agent Tango: What about teenage girls?


Agent Tango: LOL. So one of the finalists in the HGTV "Design Star" contest...a policeman!... turns out to have a "secret" gay past involving a bondage flic. And not even a "mild" one....a hardcore ropes, flails, leg-iron, bent over the table bondage flic! Damn! LOL..... Who did you think you could fool??! LOL. Interviews take on a whole new light when you know details:

"What is your most unusual talent?
A lot of people don't realize, I speak Spanish."

Uh-hunh: "Si papi! Siiiiiiiiiiiii!"

More details on this story here and here.

Agent Sagittarius: What the report neglects to tell you is that he decorated the set himself. Even pornos need a set decorator.



Agent Tango: What does this look convey?
Agent Sagittarius: Feed me.
Agent Tango: I'm sure he's....well fed.


Agent Tango: A pit-sniffer! This will only lead to licking.

Nicely Ab-ed (2) :

Agent Tango: LOL...oiled and "bronzed" but nice abs. Hmmm...he has nipple bars. Kink alert!
Agent Sagittarius: Who photoshopped my face off this??!?


Agent Tango: Actually this guy looks more like you Agent Sagittarius
Agent Sagittarius: Why would I advertise undewear that obviously doesn't fit??

The Battle of the Bulge! (Act 10)

Agent Tango: The strings are hanging out..but what the hel* are they for?? Hmmm, I'm assuming they are part of his "swimming trunks"....or more appropriately called "junk trunks" (cause that's all the cover).....lol... Anyway, aside from the insane abs you can tell this guy is hanging straight down: battle of the bulge is lost.
Agent Sagittarius: So the abs HAVE to be airbrushed. The strings are a makeshift c-ring. Seems to not work as well though. I have a similar pair. I call them my marble sack.
Agent Tango: You always think a pic of nice abs is airbrushed. Jealous? And that "marble sack" of yours only sports two marbles... and they are NOT shooters.



Agent Tango: Not even a jockstrap?? Here is a warning: You opponent's first move might involve a knee! Battle (and match) lost: Up and to the left.
Agent Sagittarius: Scandinavian Olympic wrestler. "'Alo. My name is Bjorn, and I forgota my cup. Can you help me?"
Agent Tango: "forgota" ?!? You said Scandinavian, NOT Italian!



Agent Tango: Hmmmm......Undies as they should be worn. This battle of the bulge is at a stalemate: down and to the right.
Agent Sagittarius: Doesn't anyone wear them just down anymore? I guess it could be uncomfortable if you're huge and it goes down to your taint or beyond. But if you're gay, you may like it.
Agent Tango: What's a "taint"? >>cough!<<

Stuff in the crosshairs.....

Agent Tango: Well he was kinda dorky but now he is a dorky *LOSER*......


Agent Tango: Paris?!?....Itchy cooch? C'mon, show some *discretion*! (A picture worthy of the cover of GUP ... nice site!)
Agent Needle: Even without signs or symptoms, it is still possible to spread herpes to others



Agent Tango: I know this was awhile back but I couldn't resist. Those legs! Those legs! (lol.... Sorry Trent.... I couldn't resist. Photo via Oh La La!)

Agent Tango: Cole Mohr....new fashion "It Boy"....bleh. Just another "horny devil". What's up with the tatts?? Can't he remember the calendar (hmmm....maybe he really is blond)
{See him speak (!!) here.... David Archuleta I take back my earlier "dorky" comment. Mr Mohr seems to be the new "Dorkus Maximus"}

Happy New Year!

Finally 2008! But where have *all* the agents gone?!? Am I the last one? Dang. I better get some new backup. Oh well, in the meantime...........

Stuff in the crosshairs.....

Agent Tango: LOL…. A disfigured Justin Timberlake? Hmmm…. Now if they also make him a bit psychotic then I’ll go see it..

Links here and here.



Agent Tango: Why would you chew a razor handle? Really……why would you do it?? Admit it Bruce Weber, you just wanted him naked...lol


Agent Tango: I can only imagine what K-Fed is thinking. LOL. You can tell what Paris has on her mind...


Agent Tango: I’m not so sure about this version of the Joker in the upcoming Batman movie...

Agent Tango: I *guess* it could work. Heath Ledger is pretty versatile (**cough**) so we’ll see...

Agent Tango: Hmmm….Cool or gay? :

Agent Tango: More at Toot

The Battle of the Bulge! (Act 9)

Agent Tango: Hey now! The police have entered into the battle. Talk about "copping a feel"! Uh-hunh. Frisk and *grope*, eh, officer McFeely? Tsk…tsk…..
The clip is here .......



Agent Tango: Up and to the left. Always stretch and flex your muscles in the morning...or is it the evening? Oh well, both!


Agent Tango: His smile isn't the only thing that's indicating he's getting happy. Down and to the left a little.....

Agent Tango: Hmmm....doing a push-up can hurt some people. Maybe he just wobbles and rocks at the low point?....kinda like when you balance a skateboard on a softball?

Agent Tango: Hmmm... Looks like he's "pointing" to the right. I hope there's strong elastic at the top of those trunks....

Agent Tango: You know a jock is tight if you can tell if a dude is cut or uncut....

Agent Tango: LOL. Is he checking to see if it's still there?!?