Scenes from a club (III)

Agent Tango: No beer belly on this guy. He obviously loves giving his pubes some air. Monsieur Le Raunch!
Agent Sagittarius: Just add beer and you've got a party. Cheap date. Easy lay. What's the point in even having underwear?
Agent Tango: Well maybe it's good place to keep the occasional dollar bill or it could be used to get a good "grip" >>ahem!<< ??


Agent Tango: Why do a lot of clubs have black walls?!? Is it to hide the variety of "stains" that will eventually cover them?
Agent Sagittarius: Why am I never invited to these places? Black walls cover up a list of sins, not just in decorating you know?


Agent Tango: Hmmmm... Looks like a candidate for "Cover Up Da Booty". I see some fiend *is* trying to cover it with cash. That booty covering is almost like a fishnet. The catch of the night is... "Halibutt"...
Agent Sagittarius: Auditions for "Buttman and Throbbin: Masked Crusader", where's Boy Wonder?
Agent Tango: In that outfit there isn't much to wonder about.


Agent Tango: Now this brotha is gettin paid! I hope he invests it in a good mutual fund or IRA...
Agent Sagittarius: More incentive for the me to work out. Whose dick do I have to suck to earn money like that?
Agent Tango: Hmmm...Well, isn't your town full of Senators?

Morning Workout (Lesson 6)

Double friend lift.

Seated shoelace tie (with teeth).

Flying barefoot kick (requires friend or enemy).

Cover up da booty! (part 10)........

Agent Tango: My gosh! Airborn booty! Can you imagine what would happen of he lands the wrong way (ie: on his butt). Those cheeks would be scarred for life. Cover up da booty!!
Agent Sagittarius: It could be worse. He could have worn his girlfriend's thong. Now that would be emotionally scarring for life.


Agent Tango: The bed appears to be in order in this cheap hotel room. Obviously there was a male maid who came in, cleaned up the room, made the bed, and yanked down the green trunks for his "tip" (A chic would have woke him up and demanded cash). Hey phool!! Wake up and cover up....da booty!



Agent Tango: Awwwwww....freaky! Freaky! A shoe fetishist! And look at those socks.....good grief. My friend....cover the feet AND da booty!
Agent Sagittarius: You now what they say about a man with a big shoe, right?
Agent Tango: Ummm....they have lots of sole??

Stuff in the crosshairs.....

Agent Tango: So the "obscenity" case was dropped. CBS is breathing a bigger sigh of relief than Janet's boob did that night.
Agent Sagittarius: The hopes and dreams of future "wardrobe malfunctions" will live on for teenage boys across the US.
Agent Tango: What about teenage girls?


Agent Tango: LOL. So one of the finalists in the HGTV "Design Star" contest...a policeman!... turns out to have a "secret" gay past involving a bondage flic. And not even a "mild" one....a hardcore ropes, flails, leg-iron, bent over the table bondage flic! Damn! LOL..... Who did you think you could fool??! LOL. Interviews take on a whole new light when you know details:

"What is your most unusual talent?
A lot of people don't realize, I speak Spanish."

Uh-hunh: "Si papi! Siiiiiiiiiiiii!"

More details on this story here and here.

Agent Sagittarius: What the report neglects to tell you is that he decorated the set himself. Even pornos need a set decorator.



Agent Tango: What does this look convey?
Agent Sagittarius: Feed me.
Agent Tango: I'm sure he's....well fed.


Agent Tango: A pit-sniffer! This will only lead to licking.

Nicely Ab-ed (2) :

Agent Tango: LOL...oiled and "bronzed" but nice abs. Hmmm...he has nipple bars. Kink alert!
Agent Sagittarius: Who photoshopped my face off this??!?


Agent Tango: Actually this guy looks more like you Agent Sagittarius
Agent Sagittarius: Why would I advertise undewear that obviously doesn't fit??

The Battle of the Bulge! (Act 10)

Agent Tango: The strings are hanging out..but what the hel* are they for?? Hmmm, I'm assuming they are part of his "swimming trunks"....or more appropriately called "junk trunks" (cause that's all the cover).....lol... Anyway, aside from the insane abs you can tell this guy is hanging straight down: battle of the bulge is lost.
Agent Sagittarius: So the abs HAVE to be airbrushed. The strings are a makeshift c-ring. Seems to not work as well though. I have a similar pair. I call them my marble sack.
Agent Tango: You always think a pic of nice abs is airbrushed. Jealous? And that "marble sack" of yours only sports two marbles... and they are NOT shooters.



Agent Tango: Not even a jockstrap?? Here is a warning: You opponent's first move might involve a knee! Battle (and match) lost: Up and to the left.
Agent Sagittarius: Scandinavian Olympic wrestler. "'Alo. My name is Bjorn, and I forgota my cup. Can you help me?"
Agent Tango: "forgota" ?!? You said Scandinavian, NOT Italian!



Agent Tango: Hmmmm......Undies as they should be worn. This battle of the bulge is at a stalemate: down and to the right.
Agent Sagittarius: Doesn't anyone wear them just down anymore? I guess it could be uncomfortable if you're huge and it goes down to your taint or beyond. But if you're gay, you may like it.
Agent Tango: What's a "taint"? >>cough!<<