The Battle of the Bulge! (Act 5)

Agent Tango: Hmmm.... tent action. I wonder what was making him so excited?
Agent Euro: Cute underwear.




Agent Tango: Y'know, I bet the more money he gets...the longer his erection becomes. He has a Pinocchio penis!!
Agent Euro: It's fake.....and *I've" seen fake ones before!
Agent Tango: I won't even ask the details about that......



Agent Tango: Morning wood. I don't know if I like that spider tattoo on his side though.



Agent Tango: You should *always* take the undies off when you shower.... or *was he* showering??
Agent Euro: That's baby oil.



Agent Tango: I think something exploded in his underwear. >>ahem!!<<
Agent Euro: I like the underwear. I wonder how much they are.....

Cover up da booty! (part 6)........

Agent Tango: Hmmm... Improper coverage! Looks as though someone gave him a wedgie! (or perhaps he likes to wear his underwear that way)



Agent Tango: Duuude... cover up da booty! The surf may be up but the trunks are down.



Agent Tango: "Mirror, mirror on the wall: Whose pale booty scares them all?"



Agent Tango: Call the construction company. I see a crack in the pool!



Agent Tango: OMG! I would name this one "The Battle of Da Booty!"



Agent Tango: Got milk? ....on booty?

Eye Candy (Series 2)

Agent Tango: Hrmph...."Nick" has nice abs. I'd better hit the gym more. I'm getting "ab-envy"
Agent Ajax: You could have the best abs in the world and you'd still be envious of the next beanpole with a washboard stomach, Tango. Give me some real lookin men! ;)




Agent Tango: What the heck is going on with his shorts? He might as well wear a thong and get it over with....
Agent Ajax: you know you would do the same thing if you had abs like that ;)
Agent Tango: No. I'd just wear the thong ;-)




Agent Tango: Muscley......but dude, lose the "scarf"!
Agent Ajax: Tré internacionál....




Agent Tango: LOL....the "censored" version is here. Follow the link to see a "lower" view featuring his "shmekel".....actually, at first glance that is obviously the wrong term ;-)
Agent Ajax: I have a hankering to go swimming in November all of a sudden...no shrinkage though please...





Agent Tango: Pull up those shorts....keep the booty covered!
Agent Ajax: BOOTY FO EVAH!!!! REVOLT!!!
Agent Tango: And so ends another bootabulous post.....

Stuff in the crosshairs......

Agent Tango: LOL..... Nicky Hilton and crew.. So here they are at one of those cliche "artsy" photoshoots. Yyou know the type... the sexy pictures that "tease" the imagination...
Hmmm no need for imagination! Look at what the paparazzi saw! (snicker) (Thanks Oh La LA!)
Agent Ajax: I don't know if I would call it art per se, but I would definitely go to an exhibition.




Agent Tango: The expression on Peter Wentz's face is great (I bet he'd do it :-P).. Look fast (before they pull the clip!!)





Agent Tango: Alas poor K-Fed....we knew him well...
Agent Ajax: Get the hell on and get a real job at the DQ like you are destined...he should just give it up and do gay porn already.
Agent Tango: Wow. Someone is on fire....calm down He'll be serving your Whopper Jr soon enough....

Shocking! :



"The Dicks of Hazzard:
Bo and Luke Dick successfully route Boss Cock and his cronies with the help of Daisy
Dick and Uncle Jizzy."

Agent Tango: You have *got* to be kidding. Is there no shame...
Agent Ajax: The remake was crap... this will go in the crapper too, but in a different way...i think i just made myself ill.
Agent Tango: LOL ....first it will go into the tissue....*then* the crapper

The Battle of the Bulge! (Act 4)

Agent Tango: Hmmm...Some tent action going on here. He's definitely hangin (or pointing) to the right. I wonder what he is thinking about?
Agent Apocalypse: Isn't it obvious? He's thinking about me!! Heh, he has my vote
Agent Tango: {rolls eyes}


Agent Tango: Tent action plus a lil "peek-a-boo"...... I can't tell what direction his rifle is pointing at though.....
Agent Apocalypse: It almost seems like a crazy curve down in those tight whites



Agent Tango: Definitely to the right....and it looks like he's ready to catch a breeze or two......to "cool things down"
Agent Apocalypse: That's the strongest package I've seen awhile! It obviously doesn't like to be bound.



Agent Tango: To the left....big time. The pose is a bit cheesy though....
Agent Apocalypse: I'd change his shorts... or take'em off... yeah that'd be better
Agent Tango: Why are you licking your lips Agent Apocalypse?

Cover up da booty! (part 5)........

Agent Tango: That has to be a little bit uncomfortable.... I bet he'll end up with some "rust stains" lol..... Cover it up!



Agent Tango: He exudes confidence....in a thong! Oh my, is that a knife or a "shiv" in his hand?!?..... What is he gonna do while wearing his thong? Attack someone?. Somebody call the cops....and cover up da booty!
Agent Apocalypse: Why is he wearing a belt? It's not like he needs it to hold his thong up O_o



Agent Tango: He does NOT need a tan! Cover it up! Cover it up!
Agent Apocalypse: Well we could always build a sand castle on top of him
Agent Tango: Kinky.....





Agent Tango: Not a lot of booty on this dude. Why is he pulling his shorts down? Dude, pull those shorts back up! ....and wash those hands!
Agent Apocalypse: Yeah he needs a booty lift. If yer gonna show the merchandise move yer hands outta the way




Agent Tango: Dimples! Hmmm... he might be uncomfortable on that hard-wood floor.
Agent Apocalypse: Sorry all I can do is stare and drool
Agent Tango: Hey!! No drooling! I'm trying to keep this place clean!...

Morning Workout (Lesson 2)

Stretch.....



Practice balance.....



Spin...Twirl...Spin...

The Battle of the Bulge! (Act 3)

Agent Tango: Straight down.
Agent Ajax: It looks like someone Photoshopped his leg hair...awkward.
Agent Tango: You have issues with perfection. Is this why you never look me in the eye??



Agent Tango: Straight down and slightly to the right. White seems to be a popular color.
Agent Ajax: I hate those kinds of underwear...looks like a bra for a package...
Agent Tango: *You* can use padding y'know :-)




Agent Tango: Hopefully that button won't pop. Hmmm....It looks like some Nair/depilatory is needed.
Agent Ajax: Don't Nair! Au naturel is grandtastic...and let's hope the button pops sometime soon...before I do....GASP! Like that's a big shock...It's a blog about skanky pics and I made a popping joke....get over it cooters! ^>^





Agent Tango: Big stretch! Down and to the right.
Agent Ajax: It's always impressive to see veins where you never thought possible.




Agent Tango: Up and to the right. There seems to be enough material but just barely!
Agent Ajax: Me thinks I've got island fever that only the juice from a teal banana can cure! O.o
Agent Tango: ...calm down.



Agent Tango: Wow. Looks like there is some "princely" excitement going on here. I wonder what he's waving at? BTW: down and to the royal right!
Agent Ajax: Damn! ...the prince is a king among men! Yay for the royal jewels!




Agent Tango: Good abs. Down and to the right.
Agent Ajax: Back and to the left...I mean pointing at my career, i mean.....fark.
Agent Tango: This blog is a happy place..... save your personal "shortcummings" for your own blog!



Agent Tango: The battle of the bulge is lost! I suspect there is some padding though. Hmmmm.....
Agent Ajax: Those shades and that body are hot, but that bulge is beyond ridiculous...there's gotta be somethin in there that's not flesh or a vaccum unit strapped to his back that is going around to the goochage to the unit. Regardless: DISQUALIFIED!
Agent Tango: Yes. Quite Ri*dick*ulous!

Random stuff.....

Agent Tango: Hmmm..... Agent Ajax, I found this clip just for you.... ;-) (Agent Euro, this is boring for you i'm sure....)
Agent Ajax: HAH! *That* is laughs...Blair is such a dyke...on the off chance that the internet bites me in the ass and this gets back to you...love you boo! Love your work!....>.>

Agent Tango: Whip it good! Hmmmm....another case of a naked dude in the kitchen. Ick!
Agent Ajax: I love the built in euphemism in these sorts of pics...like: "Dude beats eggs" or "Pizza in my ass"....not really, but I'd beat those eggs any day....*whimper*



Agent Tango: OK. I gotta admit. It's a cool video (and cool song)
Agent Ajax: meh.

Agent Tango: The glitz! The glamour! Ooops! See you next Fall honey! (lol)
Agent Ajax: How embarrassing...I hope Karl Lagerfeld doesn't slice the poor girl with his rapier wit and sassy hispanic lady fan. The other girl fell twice...how sad...I think she will be sold to the glue factory.



Agent Tango: He flips! He twirls! He jumps. He's French!
Agent Ajax: I think ive seen this dude before except i saw him run so far up a wall then backflip off of it...it was amazing...truly talented.

Agent Tango: I think you are remembering a scene from your last sex party!

Agent Tango: I always keep my shirt on......even during sex...
Agent Ajax: Baby oil?! jesusyespleasewithsugarontopithinkimgoingtovomitoutofnervousness

Scenes from a club (II) ... mega edition

Agent Tango: Must be Miami. Look at the tans.
Agent Ajax: Anywhere is Miami if you've got 30 minutes and know a good spray on place.
Agent Orange: I think it's a nudist house.




Agent Tango: Such attitude.
Agent Ajax: Aww c'mon Tango. He's young and just tryin' to fit the mold of what's hot nowadays. You know he's hot anyway.
Agent Tango: Bleh....
Agent Orange: The boy needs a cheeseburger!




Agent Tango: One word: fierce! Look at that facial expression: fierce! Look at those eyebrows: fierce! Look at that pose and the bullets around his chest: fierce! Possibly a homicidal homo....nice bod though.
Agent Ajax: Facial expression: I never want to see anyone look at me like that....ever. It's Dahmer-esque. Eyebrows: They are ok. Bullets: I want to steal them. Bod: Cute, but i like the bod on the guy behind him with the green belt better.
Agent Orange: He is so young he doesn't even have pubes.



Agent Tango: One word: scary!
Agent Ajax: Haha! Kathy Griffin as portrayed by Brooke Shield's eastern European cousin accompanied by Alexis Arquette as portrayed by Bridgette Nielson! I love you!
Agent Orange: "Hi pretty.."
Agent Tango: You need help Agent Orange....



Agent Tango: Attitude meets hair. Cute couple. Y'know...I should make a blog entry on hairstyles from clubs. What do you think?
Agent Ajax: I think some one needs a damned sandwich.
Agent Tango: Hmmm....the skinnyness works for them.
Agent Orange: The one on the right looks like a boy version of Grace Jones.
Agent Tango: No he doesn't! Adjust your contacts!



Agent Tango: Hmmmm....looks like UPS needs to deliver a package to the one in the black shorts.
Agent Ajax: Don't judge, Tango. He could be a grower and not a shower...let's hope for his sake. These boys are fuckin hot. Oy! What the hell is this girl doing in here breaking it all up?! Not to say that she isn't cute, it's just not the right time. I'm sorry- it's not you its me.
Agent Tango: LOL...*Yes*....it is.
Agent Orange: I'd towel off the one in the jeans.
Agent Tango: You would towel all of them off.......



Agent Tango: Well at least he can dance... but look at all of the 1-dollar bills! I've written about this travesty before....
Agent Ajax: I'm sure that the rush they are getting makes up for what they don't make out of not getting fivers. You gotta work in the Boom-Boom Room to make the big bucks.
Agent Tango: ...and you know this how?
Agent Orange: This is an example of why you should never put money in your mouth!




Agent Tango: Speaking of dancing....wow! In check pants! He's a brotha' like no otha' !!! Watch out!
Agent Ajax: Straight out of a Black-eyed Peas video even!
Agent Orange: I don't think he is dancing, I think he is having a seizure and needs medical attention quick!




Agent Tango: He's still working it....
Agent Ajax: I don't know how i feel about those boots. He needs some sort of cuff or leather to balance him out... or that undereye black stuff.
Agent Orange: Well, I always wear boots with my torn underwear.




Agent Tango: *What* is going on here?! I see a sock and what appears to be some dude behind him. I suspect there is some "action in tha' back section" going on.....
Agent Ajax: HAHAHAHA- This is the stuff I'm talking about *exactly* for the last hottie. As for whats going on here... who the f*ck knows. Girl is getting down. Get it done.
Agent Tango: Get what done?! Get *what* done?!?
{Agent Tango shifts in his seat.}
Agent Orange: I think I can guess what is getting done, but what is the sock for??
Agent Tango: Modesty??

Agent Tango: OMG. Look at that tuft of "blonde" hair coming out of the pants of the dude on the right! What does that mean?!
Agent Ajax: Good ol' steroids. I guess the look of the evening is gender transcendant with a touch of Rapunzel.
Agent Orange: Rapunzel needs to do some manscaping!



Agent Tango: Action Gurl! She needs to team up with the dude in the check pants! *THAT* would be a super team. The could fight club crimes at night and be mild-mannered Mormon missionaries (or Photobucket image editors) by day!
Agent Ajax: She just got an invite to the sandwich social! Jesus H. Christ... eat something!
Agent Tango: Oh calm down. She's not Nicole Richie.
Agent Orange: Yeah, she needs to go with that skinny boy from 2nd photo above and EAT!




Agent Tango: Tsk..tsk....just go to a club and endulge yourself in tacky ho-ish behavior. Can it get any worse??
Agent Ajax: If you were gay and 18-21, I wouldnt put it too far past you either, Tango ; )
Agent Tango: OK, so I'm 22...big woop! ;-)
Agent Orange: This dancer is suffering from the same condition the boy in the torn black shorts has. Where is it?? I think that is why the girl in the striped shirt is laughing so hard. But he is very "bendy".




Agent Tango: I guess it can. Shameful!! (but I wonder how he tasted....)
Agent Ajax: He probably tasted like Christmas. SPRING BREAK! WOOOOOO!!
Agent Orange: I love and ab-sicle.




Agent Tango: Wow....so *that* was under the black shorts? At least with all those dollars he now has a package. I'll cancel that UPS call.
Agent Ajax: Just have the UPS shipping request arranged for a call tag to pick up in L.A and delivered to the Bay area.
Agent Orange: Gotta love a gold lamé stringed panty.



Agent Tango: A lounge lizard if I ever saw one. But what is up with that belt?!? My gosh....even the WWE champion doesn't carry one that large!
Agent Ajax: Jessica Simpson called, she wants her belt back. Oh- and Paris called to say that she can pull of reckless disregard and make it look good, so quit it....who am i kidding?...I want a big belt. Hah!
Agent Orange: He is so thin. I'm sure that belt wouldn't fit around a WWE champs arms.
Agent Tango: What is with you and Agent Ajax's anti-skinnyness remarks? I think you two are envious......



Agent Tango: Oooofah! Someone is sweating somewhere that i don't wanna know about! Yikes!
Agent Ajax: lol. Look closer....somebody's hand is ALL wet....did you say scenes from a club or scenes from a bath house?
Agent Orange: Nothing like a pair of sweaty balls.




Agent Tango: More ho-ish club behavior BUT at least this girl knows how to do it right. Notice the FIVE dollar bill she has. Obviously this chick knows how to properly please a gay dancer.... unlike his queer male lust puppies who insist on busting out the George notes!
Agent Ajax: God bless that girl....and that ass.
Agent Orange: I just don't know what I think about this.... much less what to say.
Agent Tango: This is a blog y'know.....

Agent Tango: Oh no! I think something criminal is going on here!! I suspect they might be doing something "heinous to the anus"! This club is wild. Does it get any worse??
Agent Ajax: At least he's wearing D&G....maybe they're getting out the drugs they smuggled into the club in the booty? All you need is a willing bottom and its like you got another wallet... *shudders*
Agent Tango: Hmmm...a "willing bottom"? Is that code or slang? ;-) ....and by the way, he's not wearing D&G....one of his "gropers" is wearing D&G
Agent Orange: Is that a club or a clip from Tango's movie collection?
Agent Tango: Shhhhhh!!!!



Agent Tango: Good grief!! The same club. OK. I have seen enough. This is the last image of this entry. At first I was wondering what was keeping the money up but upon closer inspection....I see there is either a a thin piece of tape around his waist or a transparent piece of plastic. You can see the full-sized image here. This is the ultimate scene of ho-ishness!! I'm off to go jog!
Agent Ajax: I think it's similar to how hot dogs are stuck clear to the side of the package until you open it... that same phenomenon. Overall thoughts- cute boys, ugly shoes and people need to embrace eating before they die. ^>^
Agent Orange: Again, another example of why you should NEVER put money in your mouth!